SELF-AWARENESS

Are You Hiding Your True Self From Others?

Gaining clarity through a nature walk at Jamaica Pond

Yana Bostongirl
Namaste Now
Published in
4 min readJun 15, 2024

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Tree canopied walkways at Jamaica Pond
Tree canopied paths: Image by author

My mom always said I had a stubborn streak. Once I’ve made up my mind about something that’s how it will be for better or worse. Not an ideal trait when you live in a patriarchal society and are a female to boot.

Perhaps there is more to my stubbornness than meets the eye. When your opinion holds less weight than the men in the family, a rebellious silence that comes across as stubbornness is how you take a stand.

I know I drive my family crazy when I am in stubborn mode.

For most of my life, I lacked the tools to manage my emotions. So many of my decisions used to be taken in the heat of the moment. Some were utterly cringeworthy while others barely managed to avoid disaster or worse harm to myself.

I wouldn’t recommend such behavior to anyone.

For instance, I once had a falling out with my ex during a big game at Gillette Stadium.

“I didn’t even want to come!” I cried.

“Well, who asked you to come?” He snapped.

So, right in the middle of the game, I walked out. I wasn’t thinking clearly; all I knew was that I needed to get as far…

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Yana Bostongirl
Namaste Now

My life + relationships + writing journey → my blogs (a memoir in motion)| Boosted Writer| 🌸Substack: Yana's World 👇 https://yanabostongirl.substack.com/