Clinical Psychologist and author Dr. Henry Cloud offers and insightful look at the undesirable behaviors that successful people ‘shake-off,’ shaping their future for the better. Dr. Cloud has uncovered certain awakening moments throughout peoples’ careers and lives that once experiences, they simply do not ever return to the old way of doing things. To make it simple, what he concludes is that once people have these ‘awakenings,’ it’s snaps into place — they got it, they just get the way things work.
In Dr. Cloud’s book, Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again (2014) he observes 10 ‘key awakenings,’ or, as he also put it, 10 ‘doorways of learning’ great achievers go through, never to return to old ways. In an interview with Success Magazine he explains:
“I wondered, what are the key awakenings that successful people go through that forever change how they do things, which propel them to succeed in business, relationships, and life? I began to study these awakenings, researching them over the years.”
SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE NEVER GO BACK TO DOING THESE THINGS:
#1.) Return to what hasn’t worked.
It might be a job, or a relationship, and it may have even ended on good terms. Still, don’t go back to the same things expecting different results. It just doesn’t work.
#2.) Try to change another person.
As soon as you understand that you can’t ever force a person into doing something, you simply give them freedom and allow them to experience the consequences. In doing so, you’ll realize your own freedom as well.
#3.) Do anything that requires them to be someone they are not.
Ask yourself: “why am I doing this?” …” Does it fit me?” If you answer no to any of these questions, think about whether it makes sense to proceed.
#4.) Believe they can please everyone.
You’ll begin to live more purposefully as soon as you internalize the fact that you simply cannot please anyone.
#5.) Choosing short-term comfort over long-term benefit.
You’ve hear it before and I’ll say it again — nothing worth having comes easy. When you begin to accept that the process(s) to get to where you want to be are painful, sometimes tedious, and time consuming, you can do better at getting over that mental hump.
#6.) Trust someone of something that appears to be entirely flawless.
Keep in mind that not everything is perfect, not ever. There isn’t a person or a thing that exists without flaw. Our world is imperfect. Don’t get confused, of course there are situations that work out as smoothly as possible, that’s not what is meant by this. Don’t think pessimistically — think proactively.
#7.) Lose sight of the big picture.
Sometimes, under the stress and pressure that comes with growth. For the most successful people, no single event is the whole story. Understand this and you become a winner.
#8.) Neglect to do due-diligence.
No matter how it appears on the surface. Good research will always develop a way better understanding of any endeavor you plan on pursuing. Take a deep honest look, and proceed.
#9.) Stop Smiling.
Successful people NEVER stop smiling, this simple act is enough to bring up your mood, and improve your day overall.
#10.) Forget that one’s inner life determines your outer success.
Achieving the ‘good life’ really has little to do with external circumstances. We become happy and feel fulfilled mostly by who we are internally. Behavioral research validates that. Our internal self largely contributes to out outside situations.
We make mistakes, it is true for even the most successful people you can think of. But, what achievers are best at is recognizing the patterns causing mistakes, and NEVER repeating them ever again. In sum, they learn from not only their own mistakes, but also the mistakes of others.
We need to remember that pain is unavoidable, but making the same mistake over and over again is avoidable. Your responsibility in business and every-day life is to learn fast and stop failing in the same way more than one time.
