Falling in Love on Day 30

A miracle occurred on Day 30 of my participating in NaNoWriMo. It happened a few lovely hours before I officially reached the 50,000 word target. This morning I woke up knowing I had 1,184 words to go before hitting 50K. I was excited to be on the brink of such a big completion in my life: My first novel. The entire month of November I had been pounding away on the keyboard producing word after word after word, most of which left me feeling far from inspired. My characters were fuzzy, clichéd, one dimensional, and lifeless. My plot was a disaster when there was any trace of a plot at all. The action was mostly nonexistent or swung crazily between deathly dull and completely unbelievable. Oh, and the tone of voice of the narrator varied wildly all through the book.

I was all set to be supremely proud of myself for completing my lousy 50,000 word novel by today, November 30th. Every day I kept telling myself that it’s okay that it sucks. It’s fine if it never gets published. It was enough that I kept up my daily word count and just plodded along.

This morning I procrastinated getting up and starting to do my last push of writing toward the finish line. I wondered what would happen next in the story, seeing as how the book was such a hot mess that kept flip-flopping all over the place. With my head remaining unmoved from my pillow, I began to piece together a few of the major plot points in my head. I internally debated whether certain characters would live or die (or get cut from the novel altogether). I wondered about the fate of my main character, and if she would indeed remain the focus of the whole book. I didn’t reach any satisfying conclusions about what to write next. When I finally arose I realized that somehow I had magically fallen in love with my book! I kept it at arm’s length the whole month, acting like I didn’t care and that I wasn’t attached to it. Today, though, I lovingly embraced it and took ownership. I am soooooooooo glad I kept writing all the way until the end. I never would have known how much I could love a sweet adorable convoluted hot mess that is 100% mine.

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