Mal, your summary is so spot on. I have struggled with getting it done vs. doing it right. Creating something of high quality is worth the effort, but also worth not short-cutting to just achieve a number or to meet a deadline. I think this is especially so when writing your first book.
I experience the same external pressures, but it is more important to plan and take the time to work out the foundational steps in the process. As you found out, outlining is a major point many of us fail to do properly and give adequate time to, but it pays off if you do.
Good luck, and congratulations on your “failed” NaNoWriMo. I’m right there with you!