#NaNoWriMo 2017 Short Story #10 of 10 — What’s In the Fridge?

Rumors had been swirling for awhile. The unrest was palpable. After an age of simmering, the battle of all time was upon us. A war was the only solution to the problem that had been left to fester.

In the kitchen, Banana was preparing to lead the charge against the vegetable army to conquer their evil once and for all. Given the title of Queen, she was entrusted to save all of fruit-kind from the scourge of all kinds of tomatoes, potatoes, and carrots. The celery had overstepped its bounds, and the lettuce wouldn’t leave them alone. A forest of broccoli was encroaching on their lands while mushrooms were fouling the joint up.

Ever since the owner of the house, someone who went by the name “Felicia”, decided to go vegan the world became a dark place. Fruits used to dominate the kingdom of Kitchen, but those times were long gone. Once enjoyed for their high sugar content, sweet flavor, and perky attitude, the fruits were discarded one by one in favor of the bland and mindless vegetable menace. It didn’t make any sense to Queen Banana why this was happening, but it was. Ultimately, the responsibility was on her to ensure the continuation of her kind. Enough was enough. Vegan or not, Felicia needed to know how important the fruits were. If war was what it would take, then war is what would happen.

Preparing for the fight of their lives, Queen Banana, who was lovingly called “Chiquita”, rallied the troops. Oranges were ready to roll with her and the apples always admired her leadership with their eyes. Scores of Grapefruit came to help. Even the little Grapes, who didn’t have the strongest skill set of the crew, lent their support to the cause. Perhaps most important, Chiquita had one asset on her side that could turn the tide in any battle — the Pineapple.

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Pineapple didn’t always come around, but when he was there, many of the other fruit found him to be a little sharp and didn’t like dealing with him. His attitude was very much that of an isolationist, so gathering his support was a monumental task. Queen Chiquita worked with him for days trying to get him on board. The conversation was tense, but the Queen rose to the occasion.

“Mr. Pineapple, we need you more than ever! The vegetables are taking over and we’re losing ground. We need to fight back. You cannot stand idly by!” Her voice quivering, but still projecting a sense of pride.

The prickly fruit grumbled. “I’ve been fine all my life by myself. No veggies scare me. I think you are blowing things out of proportion. Just go hang out with the rest of your bunch and leave me alone.”

Nevertheless, she persisted. “You aren’t hearing me Pineapple. They are coming for all of us! You may think you stood your ground before, but you’ve never been targeted for elimination. By next week, we will all be gone!”

Staring back at the Queen, Mr. Pineapple was unwavering in his attitude. “That is the life cycle of our kind. We grow up, get delivered to a grocery store, end up on the shelves, and get eaten. End of story, every time.”

Unwilling to give up the fight, Chiquita kept on, her voice getting louder and louder. “Yes, you silly fruit. We all know that. Our families have been eaten in this house for generations. But that is all coming to an end. Don’t you want your brothers, sisters, cousins, and children to be eaten by this family? If we don’t do something, your kind won’t step foot in this kitchen again. And isn’t this the best kitchen to live a life?”

The cantankerous Mr. Pineapple thought, mumbling quietly to himself. With a proud lineage going back decades, many of his kind had taken up residence in that kitchen with this family. Was the Queen Banana correct? Would this really be the end of all fruit as they knew it?

“Grr…fine. Let’s say you are telling the truth. What are we supposed to do about it?” His question was valid. How exactly could the fruit truly stop Felicia from becoming a vegetable only vegan? Deciding it was better to be honest with the giant Pineapple, she responded.

“I don’t know yet…but we will figure it out. Just wait. When it is time, I will let you know. Just be ready.” With that, they were in agreement, and the largest weapon they had was on their team. The only matter was if it would truly be enough. The point about how to stop someone from becoming a complete vegan was an important one. Could they overthrow and throw out all of the veggies? Sure. But they would just come back, again and again. They needed a strategy that would prevent her from ever wanting vegetables again. To do this, they would have to forge an unlikely partnership.

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Knowing the entire fruit army depended on her, Queen Chiquita was determined not to let them down. Therefore, she made her way, by herself, to one of their oldest enemies. It took all of her bravery and courage to meet this group on their home turf. If they had any chance of continuing to exist, she had to convince this organization that it was in their best interest to align with them, at least until the battle was won.

Fearing not for her own life, but for the failure of the mission, the Banana made her way into the realm of insects.

All sorts of wriggly, disgusting creatures originated from the realm of insects, including Fruit Flies, Maggots, and your average garden Worm. Typically, these creatures had their entire focus on the fruit. After all, the name of the Fruit Fly has “fruit” in the title! But Chiquita would not be deterred — she needed these allies if they had any chance of turning the tables on the vegetables.

Facing the king of the Worms, she hid her emotions and tried her best to be convincing. “Dear creatures. I know we have been enemies for nearly of all history. Today, I want that to change. We need to join sides. If we don’t join up, both of us will cease to exist from this place!”

Pausing for a moment, all of the insects began laughing loudly at her. The King spoke up through the cackling. “You are in way over your head deary. We should eat you up right now and rot you from the inside out!”

Steadfast in her resolve, she fought back. “You don’t understand. This isn’t about whether or not you can pester and infect me. Of course you can. The problem is this — if we don’t act together, we won’t be around to eat anymore and you will perish!”

The king regained his focus, and the laughter died down. “What are you talking about? Your kind has been in this house for ages. Where are you going? We will follow you if you are thinking about leaving!” His look was menacing.

“Run? No. We are going to fight. This is about the vegetables! They are squeezing us out — the “Felicia” is not going to buy us anywhere!”

There was an audible gasp. “This cannot be. You are lying.”

“This is the truth. That is why I’m coming to you. Because we need your help.”

Thinking deeply, the King stared back at the Queen Banana, trying to read her mind. Was she telling the truth? He wasn’t sure, but it definitely seemed like she was serious. He turned his back on her and gathered with a few other elder insects, leaving Chiquita standing and wondering what would happen next. After a few minutes, the King Worm turned around and slid right up to her.

“Okay. You might be telling the truth. You may not be. But I think you made a good point. What did you have in mind?”

Gulping, she prepared to make the most audacious request. “In order for this to work, I need you to switch and act like you like vegetables. Starting now and continuing for weeks until she changes her mind. Felicia has to believe the vegetables are attracting all of you.”

“YUCK! Are you kidding? This deal is…” Pondering hard, the King realized he was stuck. They couldn’t survive on vegetables long, but if they didn’t do this and the fruit was gone, they wouldn’t survive at all. He gritted his teeth and continued. “…on. We’ll do it. Three weeks and not a minute longer!”

With the realm of insects in her corner, she returned to her fruit tribe, prepared to make the final battle plans.

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The hour was drawing near. Gathering in the refrigerator, the warriors of the fruit clan were trying to preserve their strength. These warriors included the bananas, apples, and oranges. In the past couple of days leading up to this, the worms, maggots, and fruit flies began pestering the vegetables. It was important to not only set the tone in Felicia’s brain that the vegetables were a problem that she couldn’t keep around, but also the weaken the vegetables for the battle. They were beginning to outnumber the fruit and making the entire operation more and more difficult each passing day.

“Friends, family, and the whole bunch of you!” called Chiquita. “Today is the day we fight for honor. We fight for freedom. We fight to continue being eaten!” Loud applause and cheers erupted from the other fruit. The grapes wore fear on their skin, but were otherwise supportive of the operation. Apples were preparing to lead the first line of attack, taking on the legion of Corn.

Queen Banana continued her speech. “Felicia has been good to our kind before and I know she can love us again. We need to show her what we’re made of. It is time that we prove once and for all the fruit are much stronger, must smarter, and yes, much tastier than the vegetables. Who is with me??

Shouts of “AHHHH” came from the throngs of Lemons and Limes, among the other fruit, as they readied themselves for the epic showdown. Support came from all species of fruit, ready to rally behind their Queen. From the darkest corner of the fridge came a snort. Rolling forward, Mr. Pineapple emerged from the shadows, ready to join the fray.

“Not just yet, Mr. Pineapple. We need you to save your energy. First, we send out our core team of apples.” With that, the Queen gave the order.

Bursting out of the fridge, charging, the apples waged into war. Waiting for them was a line of formation of the Legion of Corn. Wielding Asparagus spears, the Corn warriors were as intimidating as they were equipped for the fight. Sliding, rolling, and rocking, the Apples engaged the enemy veggies, wobbling with an agility that helped them avoid the stabbing efforts of the Corn.

Crunch. The lead Apple staggered backward, impaled on the spear of one of the Corn Warriors. Juices leaked out, and a large hole exposed the meat inside of him. He collapsed, rolling away. Enraged at the loss of their leader, the other Apples roared and redoubled their effort. They found the weakness of the Corn — tearing the leaves from their stalks. The Apples arranged themselves in a formation that allowed them to protect two Apples while they double teamed a stalk, eventually ripping their coverings and sending them screeching to their demise. With this strategy, the Apples turned the tide of battle, winning the fight with just two Apples surviving. Although the losses were heavy, this victory bolstered the confidence of the other fruit. Perhaps they could win this war after all.

Next, the grapes grappled with the peas. Pod after pod overwhelmed a bunch of grapes, squishing them with a ferocity unlike most peas you may know. Their effort was incredibly, and the grapes were quickly extinguished. Fresh off their solid victory, they went after the remaining Apples. Worn from the battle, the Apples struggled with their diminutive challengers. After one Apple was picked apart by the peas, the final fighter gave it his all, eventually squashing the final pea. Exhausted, he retreated to the Fridge to mend his wounds and mourn his losses.

Legion after legion of the fruit Army advanced from the Fridge to meet the numerous of battalions of the vegetable scourge. Peaches and carrots. Grapefruit and celery. Lemons and Cauliflower. With each battle more tenacious than the last, the Kitchen was becoming littered with the decimated flesh and smashed meat of more veggies and fruits than one could count. Those with a weak stomach would be wise not to lay eyes on the horrors therein.

At last, there was Queen Chiquita and Mr. Pineapple. Emerging from the protection of the Fridge, they stood face to face with the last remaining menace of veggie-kind, the king of all Vegetables: The Head of Lettuce.

Large and rotund with layers of leafy armor, he had disparaged all comers. Rolling about with reckless abandon, he was able to squeeze, crush, and strangle every opponent. He was a favorite of Felicia, and if he survived, the end of fruit kind would surely follow. Flapping his coverings in an effort to taunt the final Fruit warriors, he charged at the Queen.

Mr. Pineapple dove in front, slicing into the leaves of The Head of Lettuce. Back and forth the two imposing combatants went, each exchanging flows. The Lettuce, weidling two Asparagus Spears, was stabbing at Mr. Pineapple, looking to pierce him. However, the tough core of the fruit helped him fend off these attacks as his sharp outward barbs made him quite effective against the veggie ball.

SQUISH!

Looking on, the Queen couldn’t believe what she saw. Finding a spot that was starting to rot, the Head of Lettuce drop a spear deep into the flesh of Mr. Pineapple. Although the Lettuce was ripped and torn, almost down to the heart, he still had the strength to shove his weapon into his adversary, mortally wounding him. Stumbling backward, Mr. Pineapple simply uttered “I’m sorry, so sorry”. He collapsed, leaving the two kings facing off head to head.

Backing her into a corner, the Head of Lettuce was making sure that there was no way out. He had the last remaining fruit right where he wanted her. Raising his Asparagus spears high into the sky, he prepared to end the war once and for all. Suddenly, the veggie King begins to shake, looking around nervously.

Emerging from his interior were scores of maggots. Fruit flies descended from the sky, swarming the leafy oaf with reckless abandon. Slithering in from a nearby vent was the King of Worms, lending his aid just as he said he would. Slashing aimlessly into the sky, the Head of Lettuce flailed ineffectively against the surprise attackers until, in one dramatic cry, he collapsed in a head.

It was over. The last food standing was Queen Chiquita, proving once and for all the strength of the fruit clan. Falling over, she began weeping, mourning the loss of all of her friends. In time, they would have eventually been eaten, but that was the natural way. This was no way to go, and she struggled to come to terms with how everything happened. Surprisingly, the King of Worms came to console her.

“Queen, as a leader, you have to make the difficult decisions. So did I. My army was very reluctant to believe your story, but I had to make that command that I did. You make the same call. Now, we will hold up our end of the bargain. Please, shut yourself in the Fridge and be safe. You don’t want to see this part.” Appearing much wiser than she ever gave him credit for, Chiquita nodded at the Worm King and made her way to safety.

As she was closing the door, she could see the squadrons of flies swarming the remains of the plants, with the maggots mixing themselves in wherever they could. What happened next involved a lot of screaming, crashing, and other noises that the Queen Banana did not understand.

Suddenly, the Fridge door opened, and there she was, Chiquita, alone amongst the milk. Looking down on her was Felicia, who was noticeably baffled by the entire situation. She reached her hand down and grabbed the yellow fruit. Bracing herself for what was to come, she smiled, knowing that everything would be okay for the future fruit kind. With a quick motion, Felicia ripped open the Queen Banana and enjoyed the first of many future bananas.

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When the current crop of fruits tell stories, the most requested tale is that of Chiquita, the Queen of all of the Fruit. Her bravery knew no bounds, and she is given the title of the greatest Banana to ever exist in that kitchen. Without her cunning and planning and strategy, there would be no fruit in that house this day. Without her ability to lead and make allies out of enemies, vegetables would rule the kitchen. To this day, the vegetable army has been low in numbers, and they fear the fruit, knowing what they are capable of.