Do Narcissists Know What They’re Doing?
Whether or not narcissists know what they’re doing is a common question.The answer is “yes” and “not really.” Narcissists are always seeking attention and validation called “narcissistic supply” to prop up their low self-worth. All their interactions are about getting supply in the moment or down the line. They are constitutionally manipulative. That doesn’t mean absolutely every manipulation of theirs is premeditated. A lot of what they do is like the way toddlers fake cry for attention. A small child knows that if they cry, it elicits a certain response from their caregiver. Whenever they want that response, no matter how they feel, they “cry” to get that attention. The incredibly self-focused way a two year-old needs and demands their caregiver is the level narcissists are operating at emotionally. A toddler lacks the language skills and other tools to communicate their needs. When adults behave this way, it’s unacceptable. While narcissists always have other sources of supply, their primary targets are the people they focus these intense and inappropriate needs on.
There are times when the narcissist isn’t acting on raw instinct and knows exactly what they’re doing. Every single one of them is a dishonest schemer and a bully. This can be masked very well depending on the nature of the supply they crave. A pious, churchgoing narcissist looks very different from a…
