Why Narcissists Mirror Their Targets
Mirroring is a tactic many narcissists and other manipulative people often employ in order to ingratiate themselves. They reflect idealized versions of their targets back to them. In a way, they get you to fall in love with a simulacrum of the best version of yourself. When narcissists encounter potential targets, they probe for information. It seems like genuine, deeply-felt interest, and, I suppose it is, but the primary goal is reconnaissance. Unfortunately, this high interest usually corresponds with the first, most intense round of love bombing, and the target is often swept off their feet. The purpose of the reconnaissance is to give the narcissist the tools to mirror the target effectively.
Something a lot of targets don’t like to hear is that narcissists don’t mirror only positive traits. I have a theory that the most common negative traits narcissists dig deep for so they can mirror and reinforce them are those that contain some vestige of immaturity — in particular, traits that inhibit self-reflection. For example, an inability to take constructive criticism. Because narcissist’s shattered egos won’t allow them to take accountability, scapegoating is a necessary part of their repertoire, and they use it against targets who have trouble taking negative feedback (something nearly everyone struggles with). Narcissists often find scapegoats for their target’s shortcomings…
