“Action Speaks Louder Than Words”

Typically, before recovery, codependents practice denial by excusing, minimizing, rationalizing, and forgetting the uncaring and emotional abuse abusers and narcissists dish out. Yet they believe the promises, criticisms, and threats that abusers make. They take them to heart, worry about them, and absorb them like a sponge. Then they apologize, try to please, and adapt their behavior accordingly.

On the other hand, abusers only pay attention when you change your behavior. You can beg, nag, scold, plead, or threaten. this does not confront abuse and won’t change how you’re treated or stop narcissistic abuse. But if you set boundaries followed by consequences when you’re ignored they take you seriously. Maybe not the first time, but if you’re assertive and calmly consistent, they learn, especially if your behavior impacts them in unwanted ways.

Stop reacting and act autonomously.

© 2021 Darlene Lancer