When Narcissists Won’t Let Go
Learn Why Narcissists “Hoover” and What to Do
Beware of narcissists trying to lure you back with hoovering. Breakups with narcissists don’t always end the relationship. Many won’t let you go, even when it’s they who left the relationship, and even when they’re with a new partner. They won’t accept “no.”
They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce. A research study showed that narcissists and psychopaths tend to stay friends with their ex for selfish reasons. They try to stay in your life or seduce and convince you to return. They’ll do whatever it takes to lure you back.
This behavior is called hoovering after the famous Hoover vacuum, because when you’re finally free of the abusive relationship, they suck you back in. Be prepared for a bait-and-switch maneuver. Being expert manipulators, narcissists know your vulnerabilities.
They appeal to your emotions with cries for help, romantic gestures, messages, or cards or gifts on significant dates or anniversaries. They attempt to seduce you with financial support, feigned compassion, pleading, jealousy, sex, loving words, or promises to reform. They may send veiled messages via social media posts, arrange “fortuitous” encounters at your local haunts, or employ “flying monkeys” — friends…
