Narcissists cause Borderline
“I am diagnosed with autism and my biggest mistake was sharing this to someone that would deny this and twist a story.” — Lilith AR Edelweiss
As you are self reflecting yourself, you begin to find ways to heal.
For me this healing process involved writing articles and doing podcasts. These were not purely reactive outbursts, but these were all part of my healing journey.
I have the right to tell my side of the story
I have the right to tell my truth
I have the right to express myself and my vulnerability
How it all started
Iwrote the first article about a brat a year ago in London. I did this in a Cafe near Paddington Station. I would usually listen to Zarah Leander songs and get inspired to pursue my drag and grow.
I did that because I had to get it off my chest and at that time I did not use this individuals name. I started using the name once I have realised that I am a victim of someone else’s emotional abuse. And I had someone comment on one of my first articles and it was a flying monkey.
The flying monkey caused me to go next level with my exposure.
It happened and it was real and you do not have the right to gaslight me.
As a result of emotional abuse your brain does not want to accept the fact that it happened. It was not made up. This of course can lead to Borderline and in a way it is there. There were a lot of projections, wild accusations and wild half-truths so your brain at times was very confused and did not think rationally.
Emotional reactive outbursts are common for victims of narcissistic abuse. You felt misunderstood. People always blamed you and were reluctant to accept the narcissists faults.
“People that blame never stop blaming.” — Lilith AR Edelweiss
I would like to reference to the following article and explain why I think that narcissists can cause BPD like symptoms in their victims.
9 BPD Symptoms
Fear of abandonment
“People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. Even something as innocuous as a loved one arriving home late from work or going away for the weekend may trigger intense fear.”
You can develop this symptom in particular if your partner always arrived late and did not apologise. Imagine you having a negative experience with this, it can most certainly be something you can have after you have encountered an abusive partner or parent.
“Your reality shapes your reality, your life shapes your life and your experience shapes your experience. There is no right in taking this away from you.” — Lilith AR Edelweiss
Unstable relationships
“People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. You may fall in love quickly, believing that each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed. Your relationships either seem perfect or horrible, without any middle ground.”
You can also end up with this when you are autistic and not able to pick up social clues and figure out what you are actually feeling. Sometimes infatuation can lead to misinterpretation. This of course can be a consequence of neglect also, speaking of a toxic partner, making you doubt your reality and worth can mess up your being.
Shifting self-image
“When you have BPD, your sense of self is typically unstable. Sometimes you may feel good about yourself, but other times you hate yourself, or even view yourself as evil.”
Very common with people that have experienced Narcissistic Abuse. Because you have been in an unstable relationship with a manipulative individual, your sense of self, your sense of your reality. It slowly evaporates.
The longer you are in a relationship with that individual, the more likely you end up having an identity crisis.
You see, because you have someone unstable and very sick in that relationship.
The minute they devalue you, the minute they twist stories and gaslight you immensely, you will lose your self completely.
Additional Information
The Danger of Enablers and Flying Monkeys is usually taking this whole problem to a next level. You are being told and lectured about your whole being. You are being criticised immensely and you are always the problem for people that see right through you because you shine like a star and have so much love to give.
Your sense of reality — self image.
“It is possible for victims to not recognise their mirror image and it is possible that you are also getting dragged into their war of words or the smear campaign.”
This one is a journey. Some days are worse than others. At the end of the day, you remember that no one can take away your worth and awareness.
“People that have to be miserable, are miserable.” — Lilith AR Edelweiss
Impulsive, self-destructive behaviours
“If you have BPD, you may engage in harmful, sensation-seeking behaviours, especially when you’re upset. You may impulsively spend money you can’t afford, binge eat, drive recklessly, shoplift, engage in risky sex, or overdo it with drugs or alcohol. These risky behaviours may help you feel better in the moment, but they hurt you and those around you over the long-term.”
This behaviour is something I personally associate with the Downfall of a Narcissist.
These individuals, they will actually engage in this activity when they lose face and when they figure out that their fake self slips and slips and slips away and that they are also struggling with finances, are alone and have not the status they want to have.
Victims of narcissistic abuse, well, this is my point of view.
They try to tell their side of the story. If someone is writing an article about them, it is their right, they can use their names and they can express their feelings about it. These brats usually realise by then that they have to up the game, even though the victim only tries to warn human kind.
The Danger of the Flying Monkeys is deadly. Power in the Union. Talent becomes arrogance because they cannot admit jealousy and envy.
Narcissists will say victims self destruct when they realise what is going on.
In reality, the story of the victim usually blows up the world of the grandiose imbecile. Boom.
“The Danger of Flying Monkeys can play a huge part in making you go delulu crazy, when in reality, they just worry they might lose face.” — Lilith AR Edelweiss
Sharing your story, telling your side of the story and using names, it is important for your healing purpose. Also, the more passive aggressive and angry they are, the more they shoot with their own weapons, the mightier you are.
If you already have BPD or BPD like Tendencies, this whole ride can really mess you up.
It is important to understand that the collective can make you think you are always a problem, because the more people gather because they become flying monkeys, the more you should rely on your self worth to not engage with them at all costs.
Because these individuals have to blame-shift and always fight and always cause drama, they will eventually, especially when they are very sick, cause the victim to end up in a psych ward because they know how to make them doubt reality.
“Especially when they are in groups. This can eventually cause a star to never be born at all.” — Lilith AR Edelweiss
They will tell the world and everyone, including your friends and family that you self destruct. They get creative with their twisted half truth fairy tales. Always make sure, to reflect upon their words and intentions. Bird View Realness can really help you evolve.
Self-harm
“Suicidal behaviour and deliberate self-harm is common in people with BPD.”
Ithink this behaviour, it is common. Honestly speaking. Even someone with a happy life can slip. Everyone can. It is not a question of having BPD. It can be bullying. But it can also be solitude. It might be terror but
there are so many reasons nowadays why people quit.
This is also a side effect of you lashing out irrationally. Due to the fact that you dealt with an invalidating environment and dysregulated behaviour, you become your environment if you do not know how to stay neutral.
Gaslighting for example. It is subtle abuse that can cause the most harm.
Extreme emotional swings
“Unstable emotions and moods are common with BPD. One moment, you may feel happy, and the next, despondent. Little things that other people brush off can send you into an emotional tailspin. These mood swings are intense, but they tend to pass fairly quickly (unlike the emotional swings of depression or bipolar disorder), usually lasting just a few minutes or hours.”
Personally, I started to feel this way after I went through an emotionally unstable relationship. Trust me. Narcissists can make you feel that way, even when they are gone. They are never really gone.
They make sure they have their status. They make sure to use your open minded spirit against your own will.
They keep taps on you, steal your story and steal your dignity.
The more stories you have , the mightier their status becomes.
Trust me.
They will use your story to play the victim
Especially people with covert narcissistic tendencies, they are very good at playing the victim role. Back to the emotional swings. You eventually become what they want. Unstable. These mood swings, they occur because the emotional abuse took its toll and at one point, it went to far. Boom. So I think sick people can
cause healing individuals to lose their self and develop BDP tendencies.
Chronic feelings of emptiness
“People with BPD often talk about feeling empty, as if there’s a hole or a void inside them. At the extreme, you may feel as if you’re “nothing” or “nobody.” This feeling is uncomfortable, so you may try to fill the void with things like drugs, food, or sex. But nothing feels truly satisfying.”
Asa result of an unstable relationship in general, you might feel like this. Imagine this.
You had a dream of becoming a cabaret singer. You tell your narcissistic partner about it. They want to have an image, see an opportunity and use your dreams against you. Stealing your dreams so they can be in circles where they are not supposed to be in.
This is of course, one of the ugliest things that a narc can do to people. But eventually. This can cause this feeling of emptiness because you lost your dreams. Goals. Life Purpose.
This individual made you lose your dreams.
This is genuine and it can eventually cause this tendency in victims of Narcissistic Abuse.
Explosive anger
“If you have BPD, you may struggle with intense anger and a short temper. You may also have trouble controlling yourself once the fuse is lit — yelling, throwing things, or becoming completely consumed by rage. It’s important to note that this anger isn’t always directed outwards. You may spend a lot of time feeling angry at yourself.”
This is very interesting. Explosive anger reactions can also be interpreted as an autistic meltdown or tantrum.
That I had since I was a child.
It is when your whole nervous system goes bonkers.
It can also be a result of an abusive relationship or friendship and it can eventually be you not being ready to accept the real trauma they had caused that you got from this toxic individual. Or circle. I think it is wise to add that dysregulated behaviour and the invalidating environment contribute to this massively.
Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality
“People with BPD often struggle with paranoia or suspicious thoughts about others’ motives. When under stress, you may even lose touch with reality — an experience known as dissociation. You may feel foggy, spaced out, or as if you’re outside your own body.”
Now: The delusions that people with BPD have that the world is out to get them. In a way. After you have experienced narcissistic abuse, or any emotional abuse, your brain goes into a special mode. When you are in this mode. The way your brain thinks is very traumatising and shocking.
At the same time, people on the autism spectrum, like myself, we tend to create our own world sometimes. This world is very unique and does not intend to harm others. So yes. According to a narcissistic ex, you might have delusions, but remember. Projection is a killer and it is what these people will always use.
It is possibly the projection contributes to you developing these borderline tendencies.
It is not because you were born with it or because you have been through a rough childhood, I mean it can occur, but I have to disagree with the fact that I have Borderline Tendencies.
I am healing from Narcissistic Abuse and I am regaining my sense of power and I am regaining my dreams as well.
Dreams you see, they will never die.
Seeing is not believing. Believing is seeing.
How long does it take to heal from narcissistic abuse?
Me: Depending on the severity and the relationships you had, it depends. You start by self reflecting yourself. It takes longer when you are in denial at first. Running back in denial phase is very dangerous. These people do not change. The lovebombing at first is very promising but eventually once the mask drops, game over. Do not get into contact. It is hard. They made you addicted to them with their trauma bonding. Trust me it is real. It is like a drug and you have to disengage. Disengage also with their troops of stormtroopers and their aggressive group of monkey eating banana heads.
Justice always prevails.
How to get your life back?
Well. Never. Unless you follow these steps.
- No contact
You got to block these individuals. Do not engage in comments or anything else. I have been there. Because they have a very sick mind, they only want you to do this so that they can have a victim based story. The minute you cut them off completely, it is a win for you. Trust me it took me two years to figure this one out and you should do this the minute you realise something is off. Off. Off. Stories not making sense. This is usually a red flag. Remember. People on the autism spectrum like myself might struggle with communication skills and they know what they are talking about. It can just be sometimes odd to listen to it. But anyways. No contact is crucial to healing yourself properly. - avoid places where they might be
This is hard when they want you to see them, do not get emotional. Ignore them. Ignoring a grandiose imbecile is your win in this situation. Trust me. I know this the best because I experienced it the other way around when they went crying to the police and the police was very confused when they realised that I was not a maniac. - Routine
I mean because I am autistic I have in a way a routine. Your routine can look like this.
Wake up at 6 am, make your coffee, go to work, take a walk? Be careful. I would rather stick to sports. - Gym
If you go to the gym every now and then, I mean at least three times a week, you will change. You will look different. You will heal. - New Life?
Not that easy. It takes time. It is not all black and white. Hard for autistic people also but sometimes a goal takes years to accomplish. Victims of narcissistic abuse are not like the perpetrators with an empty soul, they can work and achieve a goal the realistic way.
They do not need to climb up a career ladder by throwing other people under the bus.
What helps the most here is to literally let them crumble because eventually the way these people get their status and image is by going a very rogue way. Others suffer, Others die, Others story is now my story.
Once the public realises that they are a fraud, they usually end up on the streets or they are mostly forgotten. Not even remembered by anyone really. Ignored. Lonely. Nobodies.
Self care is also very crucial
This includes treating your body and yourself like your best friend. Do daily or weekly rituals with rituals products possibly? Great products, worth it, they make a huge difference.
Always remember. Not everything is as black and white. Especially after the abuse.
You are not the problem if you are a victim of this emotional abuse.
You are never like them and remembering that they might have caused some tendencies in yourself, it is okay to acknowledge this and it is okay to understand that it is people that cause people to go and seek therapists.
I know what I am. I know who I am. I know what I represent.
