Drowning in an Inch of Water
Learned helplessness paralyzes recovery after narcissistic abuse
Life with a disordered partner who suffers from a personality disorder can cause a complete surrender of self and independence.
You must take back your power, self-partner, and set healthy boundaries.
I was recently surprised to learn that I still have intense and powerful feelings that are beyond my control. I met up with my ex-narc husband to exchange some final things after 17 months apart. I expected that it would be a fairly calm and uneventful experience, but I was wrong. Immediately upon recognition of his face, I was hit with an intense and overwhelming feeling of euphoric bliss, much like the addicts who feel the heroin as it melts their bodies into catatonia. It did not make sense. I have worked intensely for the past year and a half to overcome my trauma response to sixteen years of intermittent abuse from a narcissist-sociopath husband. I did not expect to feel like I had just dosed myself with a powerful amount of drugs. Clearly, the brain does unusual things when both torture and reward are doled out in daily doses. The brain is rewired, chemicals go awry, the body stores the trauma, and psychic energy is disrupted.
