How to Deal with Narcissist Discard

No better feeling than being discarded by the narcissist after giving them everything

Photo by Ian Taylor on Unsplash

Navigating a narcissistic discard can be an emotionally challenging experience, impacting mental well-being and self-esteem. The abrupt end of a relationship with a narcissist can leave you grappling with the feeling of worthlessness and confusion. Understanding the dynamics of narcissistic abuse during a discard is so important for those seeking support.

Often friends and family don’t understand the impact of the actions of the narcissist, and it can leave you wondering where you went wrong.

So you don’t feel alone in this, I remember years ago feeling the sting of narcissist discard — it really doesn’t matter who the narcissist was to me though. But I remember feeling so special to them, caught up in their web of charisma. I felt like the most important person in the world.

I would listen to hours of them talking, telling me their life story, their highs and their lows. I would hear them complain, listen to their troubles — they would tell me what a great listener I was and an amazing friend.

Then when the moment they found someone new, and more exciting in their life, I was discarded like trash on the floor. My calls were promptly ignored, they would no longer invite me out. No more was I the most important person in their world — I was no one in their world. They would even go as far as to exit a room, if they saw me there, to make it clear that they didn’t want to be in my company.

It was so hurtful.

But I eventually got over it.

I never found out what I did wrong. Probably nothing.

The Narcissist Discard Phase

The discard phase starts with sudden detachment, leaving the victim feeling emotionally devastated. The experience can contribute to symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It can bring up feelings of abandonment and self worth, if the victim has experienced this also during their childhood.

Recovering from Narcissist Discard

Rebuilding self-esteem and establishing boundaries are the two key components of the healing process. Counselling support provides individuals with the tools to process trauma, strategies to move forward, clarification to understand abusive relationship dynamics, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Strategies to Overcome Narcissist Discard

1. Remember that it’s not you, it’s them. If the narcissist discards you, it is to do with them and you have to make it a priority to not take the blame on yourself.
2. Friends come and go, even if they are narcissists. You are better off without their drama anyway. Think of all those hours you wasted on the phone listening to their drama that you can never get back. Now you are free.
3. New friends will come, healthier ones infact. Now you can have people in your life who are less toxic.
4. Practice mindfulness, meditation and other relaxation therapies that can help you let go of the pain you feel.
5. Singing or some really hard exercise can help also in releasing some of that tension.
6. Get some good support around. Maybe you even know of someone who the narcissist discarded in the same way they did you. Talk to them. They may have some words of wisdom. Or seek solace in a friend or family member.
7. Contact a counsellor or therapist like myself who deals with this type of thing. I’ll help you rebuild your self worth.

Sometimes even sharing your story with a counsellor, like myself, who understands what you have been through can be very healing.

Have you ever been affected by narcissist discard? How?

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Annette’s journey as a single mom for the past 11 years is truly inspiring. She made the brave choice to leave when her daughter was on the way and her son was just one. Being the sole provider, Annette has faced the challenges of single parenthood with unwavering determination, driven by her love for her children. Despite recent financial struggles, her dedication to counseling victims of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence reveals a heartfelt mission to make a positive impact in the lives of others.

The current financial pressures, including business costs and upcoming high school expenses for her eldest, highlight the hurdles Annette is bravely facing. Your support, whether big or small, becomes a lifeline, offering comfort during these tough times. Your contribution not only helps with immediate financial burdens but also ensures Annette can continue her heartfelt work, providing assistance and understanding to those affected by narcissistic abuse. Consider a $5 donation as a gesture of compassion, joining in solidarity with Annette’s heartfelt mission to make a difference in the lives of those she touches.