A reflection of my life
Whenever I meet with friends the conversation somehow turns to the shocking understanding of how we’re in the middle of our 20’s. How time has flown by since we’ve been in school and what our future plans hold for us.
When I think about how different my life was 10 years ago, it makes me think how much a single person can change from the events they face throughout each day and how this molds our personalities.
“You’re Dumb”
During my school year, I was never supported in any part of my education, whether that be from the school or from my parents. I was also told at home that I was dumb and I wouldn’t amount to much (maybe that’s what has given me the passion to prove them wrong).
My school life wasn’t the best. I wasn’t the popular kid who everyone wanted to be friends with, I was the shy girl who would only speak to a few other shy kids (who are now some of my greatest friends)
Target to bully
The school was difficult, if you didn’t wear makeup or speak out loud in class then you were a target to get bullied and that’s exactly what happened for my five years in high school. I was the best target as I didn’t stand up and fight for myself. I allowed myself to be bullied and that had an impacted on my physical and mental health growing up.
Being bullied lead me to stop going to school and my education suffered more. At this point the school didn’t do the steps they should have in order to stop the bullying; they allowed it to continue, therefore, I continued to skip school. My attendance went down to 50% and my parents were threatened with a fine for my absence. My father was furious as he had been going back and forth to the school to get the bullying to stop but nothing stopped. My dad then threatened the school with a lawsuit due to them allowing bullying not just to me but to other students, of course.
Important Lessons
The school closed the case and allowed me to do as I pleased. Giving a 14-year-old the option to go to school or not, you may know what I chose. Even though I enjoyed my free time, I did miss my small group of friends and I decided to start attending again but on my own timetable. I began to understand what lessons were important and I would only attend Maths, English, Science, and Art (because I enjoyed it). It wasn’t long until a friend of mine decided to do the same as she was in the same place I was with these girls being horrible and instead of us dealing with the problem head-on, we left school and this affected our GCSE’s grades (are these still a thing now?).
10 years later
I often look back to those days and think about how far I’ve come and how proud I am to be studying an MA. I’m still the same girl as I was 10 years ago, being shy, and dealing with social anxiety is exhausting but I try to push myself through to achieve my dreams and it will all pay off in the end (at least that’s what I’m telling myself).
