I Will Survive the Viruses: COVID-19 and Racism. Here’s How Reading Books by Black Authors Comforted Me.
“ Maya Angelou taught me how to express myself, to not be aftraid of telling my story.”
Being Black in America is exhausting.
I’m of mixed race: my father, Italian and my mother, Jamaican. I was born in Rome, Italy, and shortly after my parents moved to the United States for better work opportunities. I now call New York City home.
But I’m getting tired, fed-up, exhausted because there are two ongoing viruses affecting me — COVID-19 and racism.
Not long ago (back when we were still allowed to go out) I strolled blissfully through the Upper East Side neighborhood of New York City. I visited my favorite bookstore, my eyes devouring the shelves and corners, every surface piled high with books.
I was eager to make this day mine and enjoy some reading and relaxation.
However, after I purchased my books and was only a few steps out the door, it happened.
“Monkey.”
A woman in a face mask charged at me and spewed this racial slur. The moment was quick, fleeting, but it felt slow and shocking. The word “monkey” sent chills down my spine and triggered me into defense mode:
“Back off, Karen!” I yelled. I was shocked at the words flowing from my lips — I rarely stand up for myself — but it worked, she backed off.
This wasn’t the first time I’ve been called a racial slur. It has been happening my entire life. Because of that, I’m mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. There is also the collective experience on top of my own racial incident: last year the grand jury of Breonna Taylor’s murder didn’t charge any of the officers for the shooting and only a former officer was indicted for “wanton endangerment” on three counts. Where is her justice?
COVID-19 and racism in America have greatly impacted my mental health.
Yet, despite living amidst two ongoing viruses, there are words that can still comfort me. The following books by Black literary authors have saved me.
You can find these stories on the Narrative Muse matchmaker, and, if you haven’t already, I recommend reading them in 2021.
The books that saved me:
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings — the allure of her words will take your breath away
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
In Maya Angelou’s 1969 autobiography I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, she shows how strength of character can help you overcome the experience of racism. I read this book when I was 15 years old and Angelou’s words sustained me through racial incidents that I endured in my life.
When I was told by teachers to stop putting coconut oil in my hair, one particularly nasty teacher touched my hair and gave me a look of utter disgust. She pinched her fingers together, staring at them, and then wiped her fingers on her jeans. The teacher eyed me, “Marilu — you really need to do something about your hair. It is distracting. It smells.”
On another occasion, the same teacher even told the principal and my parents that I was unteachable. I wasn’t sure how to deal with the hurt and angry feelings, until I read Maya Angelou’s autobiography. I remember thinking to myself, “Someone understands. Someone has been there.” Angelou taught me how to express myself, to not be afraid of telling my story. I never knew how much trauma I went through until I told my stories to people and I told myself to share in ways to bring awareness and to build empathy.
Annie John — a riveting coming-of-age story
“Look at the way she climbed that tree: better than any boy.”
– Jamaica Kincaid, Annie John
I loved this book so much that I took part in a conversation with Jamaica Kincaid for my library — the New York Society Library. This is an adorable and heartfelt story about a girl called Annie. Before she turned 12, Annie felt cherished by her mother — who is a really powerful woman. But when she turns 12, Annie’s life begins to change and her relationship with her mother fills with conflict. This book is provocative and haunting and it deals with some tough themes including depression and bullying.
I read Annie John by Jamaica Kincaid when I was in high school. I was struck by how this young girl was feeling a paralyzing sense of resentment, and at the same time a driving need to discover herself. To read a book set in Antigua was refreshing, as it’s a coming-of-age story that is so universal, but the focus on the Caribbean was special to me. When I re-read Annie John recently, it stirred all the feelings I had from the first time — and strengthened them! This time of uncertainty has triggered my mental health and re-reading this book reminded me that everything will pass in time.
Brown Girl in the Ring — an eerie Afrofuturistic fantasy
“No matter what we call it, whether Shango or Santeria or Voudun or what, we all doing the same thing. Serving the spirits.”
– Nalo Hopkinson, Brown Girl in the Ring
I took up the book Brown Girl in the Ring by Nalo Hopkinson, a Jamaican-Canadian writer, because I’d heard great things — it was the author’s debut and it’s an award-winning novel.
The story centers on Afro-Caribbean culture with themes of folklore and magical realism. Set in a dystopian Toronto, Canada, poor people are at the mercy of the rich, who hunt them for food. The protagonist is Ti-Jeanne, a young mother helping her healer grandmother, but Ti-Jeanne is looking for a way to escape her life.
Brown Girl in the Ring is an absolutely surreal novel that displays the full strength of women. I’ve read this book a few times! And every time, it reminds me how strong I am, especially in the face of racial injustice toward minorities (including women) and the ongoing pandemic.
Happy Reading and continue to fight the good fight!
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