What do I want to do when I grow up?

These last two days in bed allowed me the time to nearly finish the book With Their Backs to the World: Portraits of Serbia by Asne Seierstad. Incredible book filled with beautiful, and tragic, stories.

I’ve mentioned this before, but ever since my trip to shoot a documentary in Kosovo following the war in 1999, I’ve had a fascination with the Balkan region. The Balkans are to Europe what Israel is to the Middle East, a spark in a bone-dry pile of tinder. I doubt many others are following the recent news on this part of the world, but Monday is the deadline for talks to decide whether Kosovo will remain part of Greater Serbia or will attain independence.

The Serbian government is again threatening possible use of force. Or sanctions. Or closing it’s border with Kosovo. Russia is upset with NATO. It’s a huge mess, and is years away from any resolution.

Which brings me to the title of this post. After days like today, where I spend my hours in a studio shooting videos for XYZ corporations that have so many resources and huge budgets, I get so discouraged with my current occupation. I really want to be back over in the thick of things, shooting stories that change lives, that makes the world a better place for maybe just one or two families. Or five, or twenty. I love being completely lost in new cities, or crossing the border at midnight, dogs barking, armed guards demanding to see my papers. Walking in field only to come to a sudden stop when I hear a metallic “clink” under my shoe, and the relief of finding a piece of barbed wire instead of a landmine.

In the picture above, my wife and I had just explored the bombed out Serbian administrative headquarters, seen in the background. A bunker buster bomb had drilled a hole straight through to the bottom of the building. Who worked there? Where are they today? Can they forgive those who bombed them or will their children take up arms to continue the battle?

I wish I could make my living finding the answers to questions like these. That’s my gripe on this snowy day. Annie says that I always start complaining about my life when winter roles around.

I guess I should be thankful for winter… it’s been the springboard into all sorts of mischief.