The Dream NBA Offseason
What SHOULD transpire this summer…
1. The Cavaliers achieve the Banana Boat, atleast 75% of it
The Rockets flip newly acquired Chris Paul to the Cavaliers for Semi-Pro star Kevin Love and JR Smith. The Knicks buy out Carmelo Anthony who joins the Cavaliers.
Cavs: CP3, Irving, Melo, James, Thompson.
Rockets: Harden, Gordon/JR , Ariza, Love, Capela.
The Cavs finally get the firepower to compete with GSW and reunite the best buddies. The Rockets move Harden back to the position where he killed it last season and surround him with yet two more deadly three point bombers to compelement Eric Gordon and Ryan Anderson.
2. Lowry and Ibaka reunite, in Minnesota
Wolves: Lowry, Wiggins, Butler, Ibaka, KAT.
The Wolves become contenders for a top 4 seed in the West seemingly overnight — with two fringe MVP candidates and a bona fide MVP candidate in Towns.
3. The Lakers bring Showtime back
The Pacers, with not much leverage, trade Paul George to the Lake Show for Julius Randle, a top 10 protected 2020 1st rounder and a miscallaneous 2nd rounder.
Meanwhile, the Raptors, after the loss of Kyle Lowry smartly decide it’s time it blow it up and realize Demar Derozan won’t lead them past the Cavs, ever. They flip Demar to the Lakers for a 2018 1st rounder, Brandon Ingram, Luol Deng, and a miscallenous 2nd rounder.
Lakers: Ball, Derozan, George, Nance, Lopez.
The Lakers can now set their sights on a top 5 seed in the conference, maybe higher depending on the performance of Lonzo.
4. Orlando starts fresh.
John Hammond and the Magic realize they have no idea what they’re doing, trade every single player for cash considerations, fill out the roster with miscallaneous low level free agents from Europe and begin their own version of The Process.
Magic: Random European, Random European, Random European, Random European, Random European.
5. Wizards get smart.
Wizards nab Blake Griffin from the Clippers in a straight up sign and trade for Otto Porter Jr, shutting up John Wall.
Wizards: Wall, Beal, Morris, Griffin, Gortat.
With the banana boat team forming in Cleveland, and the fate of the 76ers, they’re still a 2nd round exit at best.
6. Durant finishes The Process.
Kevin Durant signs a 2 year deal with the 76ers, hoping to win his own championship and silence the haters.
76ers: Fultz, Simmons, Durant, Saric, Embiid.
The East becomes a three team conference — Banana Boat, 76ers, and the Wizards(sort of).
7. The Nuggets finally do something.
Denver, flush with cap space and a Joker, nabs Gordon Hayward and Jrue Holiday. They sign and trade RFA Mason Plumlee, Kenneth Faried, and a 2nd rounder to the Raptors for Serge Ibaka.
Nuggets: Holiday, Harris, Hayward, Ibaka, Jokic.
8. OKC gets its 2nd legitimate NBA player (sorry, Steven Adams and Doug McDermott)
The Hawks, ready to blow it up, sign and trade Paul Millsap to the cap strapped Thunder for Victor Oladipo and Andre ‘whats a free throw’ Roberson.
OKC: Westbrook, Who Knows, Millsap, ‘Can’t play’ Kanter, Adams.
