In Their Own Words: Single Mothers in Academia on What Really Works and What We Need to Know
By Vanessa Fonseca-Chavéz, Trisha Martínez, Joan Doris, and Christina S. Wilson
This piece is a part of our Spark series Parenting in the Academy
The following piece brings together four authors in a brief Q&A, where they intimately share their stories, and give recommendations on being single parents, leaders, and working professionals.
How do you describe your identity? Which intersections most profoundly shape your experiences as a single parent in the academy?
“I am a Chicana/Nuevomexicana whose identity is firmly rooted in New Mexico. In a period of fewer than three years, I had a baby, got married, graduated with my B.A., started an M.A. program and separated from my ex-husband. I then moved to Arizona to start Ph.D. program at Arizona State University. I worked up to four jobs at a time and took out student loans during my Ph.D. to visit my son, who stayed in Albuquerque with his dad. I traveled to New Mexico every other weekend and had to play academic catch up when I returned. Now, in my position as a faculty member at ASU, I am playing financial catch up and will be paying back student loans well into my son’s beginning years of college.” — Vanessa Fonseca-Chavéz
“I am a proud Chicana of New Mexican descent and single mother of 3 children. My ethnicity and working-class status are the primary intersections of my identity that influence my commitment and drive for success in higher education. As a first-generation college student, I recognize the efforts of my grandparents, those who came before me and their struggle to survive. While there have been significant strides in creating equal opportunity and access to higher education there is still much work to be done. It is of utmost importance to trail ahead on the path laid before me. I am my children’s provider and role model, and strive to set a positive example on how to dream, believe and achieve.” — Trisha Martínez
“I am a single woman and the mother of a child (now, legally at least, almost an adult) with a chronic illness and concomitant struggles in the world. I’m also a sister, an aunt and importantly, a friend. I am white, of Western European descent, mostly Irish. I was raised in the 60’s and 70’s and my leftist politics were shaped by this era. I am tall (and yes, at over 6’, this shapes my experience in the world far more than one might think). I am a social worker, a family therapist, a teacher and a researcher, probably in that order. I am other things as well, and as I age these identities change and shift in importance and preeminence.” — Joan Doris
“I am a middle-aged African American woman psychologist who is a medical faculty member at a predominately white university HSC in Appalachia for the past two decades. I raised my now college –aged daughter as a single parent since she was five years of age. The intersections that most profoundly shape my experiences as a single parent academic include that I am a second generation Black/ African American woman of Caribbean heritage, raised in a diverse urban community, liberal, heterosexual, middle –class and mental health professional.” — Christina S. Wilson
In what ways do institutional policies or cultural practices create challenges for you as a single parent and scholar?
“The reluctance of various institutions to create supportive spaces and inclusive policies for single parents and scholars is a major hindrance. In my B.A. and M.A. programs, some professors allowed me to bring my son to class when I needed to, but the classrooms were overcrowded and could not accommodate a baby stroller. Cultural practices in our own families can be a challenge as well. When I started my Ph.D. it was difficult to be away from my son for the first time. When I called my family to express my anxiety, sadness, and loneliness, some comments from family members reinforced gendered expectations of motherhood, while others were geared toward trusting the path that God has created for each of us.” — Vanessa Fonseca-Chavéz
“For the most part, my children and I have been blessed with experiences in academia. However, there are a few things that create barriers and challenges. For example, as a graduate student there are only unsubsidized loans made available to you. The waiting-list for campus daycare prioritizes undergraduates before graduate students. State childcare assistance in the state of New Mexico is no longer available after a bachelor’s degree is achieved, and some institutions only offer evening courses to support the more traditional working parent/student. As a scholar, opportunities to attend conferences and professional development workshops can also be challenging because in order for me to attend I have to pay for travel expenses and accommodations for 4 of us.” — Trisha Martínez
“Policies that have challenged me as a single parent, include the inflexibility of the tenure clock. Even when policies allow for extending the clock, implementation of these policies is left up to administrators who may not allow faculty to have an extension. At two different institutions I was denied an extension, despite qualifying “on paper”. Limited availability of on campus child care or child care subsidies is a second problematic policy. At my first academic job, day care costs were 1/3 of my net income. The salaries of many faculty members, particularly in the lower ranks are not adequate for single income families. The workload, for pre-tenure faculty, who are often expected to work 60 to 70 hours per week if they are going to make tenure, is incompatible with being an involved and present mother. For faculty in medicine or STEM fields, where tenure is rare, this workload does not diminish, and continues year-round. Being expected to teach evening or weekend courses or present at conferences all presented challenges as a single mom.” — Joan Doris
“I have been most challenged by the schedule and time demands of a clinical faculty member. After my child’s birth, I reduced my work schedule to work part-time throughout my daughter’s childhood in an effort to have occasional moments to breathe, attend to our family needs, prepare meals, assist with homework and to attend extracurricular activities. My writing tasks were completed during nights and weekends. I rarely attended work social events, participated in recreational activities or served on university committees. I collaborated on team research/service projects conducted primarily during weekends with other faculty who were also parents with whom I would share childcare arrangements.” — Christina S. Wilson
What have been the most important forms of support for you as a single parent — institutional policies, community practices, organizations, peer support, collegial practices, etc?
“Unfortunately, for me, being a young and single parent in academia was an isolating experience. I knew there had to be organizations on campus that helped single moms, but I went straight from school to home to work, so I never sought out these places and no professor ever talked to me about places I could go to seek support. I felt like I was the only one in my situation. I didn’t know anyone else who had kids, which made it difficult to find supportive community networks. My family, by far, was the most supportive. My mom traveled to Albuquerque twice a week to watch my son while I took classes at UNM. My siblings also took care of my son while I was working or in school and were always available to help out at a moment’s notice. In my Ph.D. program, my family continued to be supportive of my goals and my non-traditional relationship with my son. My family never discouraged me from the path I had chosen for myself and I am grateful for that.” — Vanessa Fonseca-Chavéz
“Ethnic support centers have validated my sense of belonging in higher education. As students of color, we are often one of the first in our family to attend college. The white privilege that dominates the academy perpetuates a very unwelcoming experience. Therefore, the social and academic support and resources made available through multicultural and ethnic centers are vital to academic success. Undergraduate and graduate student collectives have also been a tremendous form of peer support that has challenged and inspired my academic journey. The opportunity to be a sister of Sigma Lambda Gamma National Inc., a multicultural sorority has also been invaluable because it allowed for me to connect with a group of like-minded women. A few of our primary objectives include: academics, cultural awareness and community service.” — Trisha Martínez
“Informal supports have made being an academic, single mother possible. Two members of my dissertation committee (both also single mothers with grown children and at institutions other than mine) went far out of their way to help me finish and defend my dissertation when my department discontinued my program. My family provided child care while I traveled to job interviews. Colleagues have either provided child care or commandeered family members to do the same during my presentations at conferences. They also provided backup when my daycare arrangements fell through, and I still had to teach. Students who were understanding and patient when I had to bring my child to class or was late returning papers also helped.” — Joan Doris
“As I prepare this account, I realize that all of my supports have been informal and external to the academy, with the exception of the university daycare center. Essential informal supports included: paid childcare, breaks and vacations provided by remote family members, financial support from family and local friends/peers raising their own children. Historical figures and personal role models for inspiration. To date, I’ve only had one mentor who shared her experience and strategies as a single parent academic. Additional parenting mentorship has come from national and professional womens’ groups.” — Christina S. Wilson
What more can institutions and faculty allies do to support single parents?
“Single parents are juggling multiple commitments for themselves and for their children. And they often are doing it without support systems. Institutions and faculty allies can incorporate more inclusive policies within their academic programs that recognize the many difficulties that single parents and other non-traditional students face. For example, professors can write language into their syllabi that provide some flexibility for single parents and others as well as a resource list of places on campus that are kid-friendly. Institutions and faculty allies can be supportive of faculty in academia by scheduling meetings at times that make sense for single parents and understanding that single parenting means that things come up at the last minute that take priority over other academic commitments” — Vanessa Fonseca-Chavéz
“Academic institutions can better support student parents by offering more resources and support services. For example: single parent and/or emergency scholarships; family friendly events (movie night) and/or tables at events that appeal to children, courses offered in morning and night to fit single parent schedule demands and perhaps childcare opportunities. Professors and faculty that are understanding and supportive of my role as a parent has also been instrumental to my success. Many have my professors have approved my children attending class when they did not have school. This afforded me the opportunity to not miss out of a course lecture because of my reality as a single parent and also exposed my children to the college classroom setting.” — Trish Martínez
“Flexible clocks for tenure and promotion, and realistic workloads, both pre and post tenure and in clinical positions, so single parents to remain in the academy and be present for their children. Subsidized child care on campus, or vouchers for child care elsewhere, would make necessary childcare affordable. Childcare with flexible hours, care for sick children and childcare that is open during school snow days would help. Coordinating the university calendar with the local public-school calendar would also help. Better pay, help repaying student loans and tuition assistance programs for dependents would help reduce the financial burden of single parent faculty members. Drop in child care with extended hours, or not mandating evening or weekend teaching would also help.” — Joan Doris
“Critically examine your expectations and their impact on single parents. Transform existing institutional policies and mindsets to make them more inclusive and to circumvent efforts that keep single parents out of the academy. Break the silence: support academic parents by asking about their professional and personal needs/goals. Extend the tenure/promotion clock, provide childcare stipends, arrange safe and hospitable childcare for travel, evening/weekend events and activities, plan for and fund sick parent or child days, school vacation/closures and drop-in care as feasible. Consistently coordinate university and local school calendars. Organize writing, research and service retreats for single parent faculty and encourage collaboration. End the Fall Semester 7–10 days ahead of the holidays. Connect single parents so that they can talk with peers about successes and challenges with parenting and work. Identify department and community members who can provide both ongoing and urgent support through strategies such as: ‘sistering’, advocacy, mentorship, sponsorship, role models and give those who assist credit for their efforts. Be flexible.” — Christina S. Wilson
What else do you want your colleagues and institutional leaders to know about you and other faculty, administrators, or students who are single parents in the academy?
“In spite of the difficulties of single parenting, I always have been motivated by my son and have remained resilient while traveling this path, both as a student and a faculty member in academia. Colleges and institutional leaders can help to ease some of the strains single parents experience, but they must be intentional about creating and supporting policies that value the contributions of single parents who juggle multiple positionalities” — Vanessa Fonseca-Chavéz
“A single parent who is successful in school should be valued, because they have developed a skill set in being able to multi-task, and navigate and achieve success in two very challenging spaces, the home and academia. They also have a family depending on them so doors of opportunity are important. It is significant to acknowledge how the experience of academia has positive generational long-term effects that enhance social skills, critical thinking, and economic well-being. To support student parents influences change one family at a time.” — Trisha Martínez
“We are here, and in greater numbers than they might think. When discussing our research on single mothers who are academics with a colleague, he said, “Do you think there are enough of them to get any data?”. There are at least five in our department alone. It helps if department functions are held during working hours, so that we may spend precious off time with our families or if department social functions are held evenings and weekends, it would help if there is child care. There is often an unspoken expectation that faculty attend these events but lack of child care makes it difficult. We would also like to be included; we are sometimes excluded from informal conversations or invitations to dinner, etc. with our married colleagues.” — Joan Doris
- Single parents exist.
2. Single parents and their children experience professional and community stigma and negative messages. Although the academy would benefit from more diverse perspectives, when I became a single parent, some co-workers suggested that I resign. Divorce is not catching and single parents should not be demonized.
3. Single parents have limited opportunity for rest or reflection, so offer support and kindness and let single parents and their children teach you different ways to raise a family.
4. Single parent students and university staff also deserve role models.
5. In a community with more expensive living costs, a single parent faculty member would be unable to give up a significant percentage of salary.” — Christina S. Wilson
Vanessa Fonseca-Chavéz is an assistant professor of english at Arizona State University where she teaches courses on Chicana/o and indigenous literature and cultural production. Her current book project focuses on contemporary manifestations of colonial relationships in Chicana/o literature.
Trisha Martínez is a doctoral student in the Department of American Studies and is a graduate assistant for Chicana and Chicano Studies and the Land Grant Studies Program at the University of New Mexico.
Joan Doris is an assistant professor at West Virginia University. Her research focuses on family violence and approaches to training primary care providers to identify and intervene in intimate partner violence.
Christina S. Wilson is an assistant professor and clinical neuropsychologist at West Virginia University. Her medical specialties include behavioral medicine and psychiatry, child and adolescent behavioral medicine, and psychology.
