I am No Nursing Hero, I am Simply Just Me, an NHS Nurse.
I hear noise projecting from my radio in the kitchen. I feel broken. I have just heard on the radio that an old friend, a nursing colleague had passed away from Coronavirus. This news was shocking and incredibly painful. I remember doubling over in my kitchen wailing uncontrollable snotty blubbering sobs. It was an outpouring of my grief, not just for the one nursing colleague that I knew. It was for all HealthCare Professionals before her, that had died fighting an invisible solider, battling an invisible World War. My grief was also for those hard-working and utterly dedicated colleagues who I know put each patient first before the safety of themselves. It was this realisation that I knew “we” the collective NHS and wider Healthcare workers would lose many more wonderful people to this disease in the days, weeks, months, and possibly even years to come.
I must admit, if Clarke Kent stripped off his cape and handed it to me, I might have been tempted — by Mr. Clarke, not the Cape! (As red Lycra would not exactly be NHS England guidance compliant of the recommended PPE — Personal Protective Equipment.) However, within a city hospital environment the most I could expect is an alcohol-drug induced moron stripping off his hospital-issued cape, shouting abuse at the nursing and medical staff whilst flashing pieces of wrinkled anatomy that would deter even the hardy nurses the need to eat any lunch!
After over 20 years working within the National Health Service, in 2018 I did not know whether to be proud or ashamed of being a nurse. I had left very briefly several times in those 20 years — teaching, dog walking, and even gardening! None of these jobs required the expensive degree, postgraduate medical qualifications, registration to an organisation that took your money and offered zilch support. Yet I was still 100% dedicated to a failing, financially starved organisation that protected the inept senior executives, hung out the hard-working dedicated nurses, and left the poor patients to die without adequate care.
Barely a day passed without a new NHS tale of inadequate performance, excessive patient waits, services not delivered, trusts effectively bankrupt, or even preventable deaths attributed to unbearable pressure on services and staff.
NHS Staff, from CEO to housekeeper felt the blows that were dealt against the crumbling NHS with daily front-page headlines over Stafford Hospital, Shrewsbury and Telford Hospital Trust, not to mention the “Body Parts” Scandal and many more that google stores. What would it take until the government took stock of the financial starvation, institutional and organisational failings that have resulted in unnecessary deaths?
COVID-19.
Coronaviruses are a group of related RNA viruses that cause diseases in mammals and birds. In humans and birds, they cause respiratory tract infections that can range from mild to lethal. Mild illnesses in humans include some cases of the common cold (which is also caused by other viruses, predominantly rhinoviruses), while more lethal varieties can cause SARS, MERS, and COVID-19. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coronavirus
I knew much more than the average person walking down the street in December 2019 about Coronavirus due to my substantive job. I purchased in December 2019 facemasks for myself and my family. My family thought I was crazy but trusted me. My response was “I believe this outbreak will be big.”
I wish I had been proven wrong.
When the UK woke up to the risk of Covid-19 the NHS redeployed staff into front-facing roles, I found myself feeling incredibly guilty as I had an ITU background and the skills required but health problems placed me in the Shielding Group. I was redeploying my nursing teams, my colleagues to face Coronavirus. Yet, I had to bury my guilt because I knew it was my senior decision — making, clinical knowledge and experience that would support and guide them through this experience.
As Nurses our pay increments had not been in line with inflation or in line with the ministers pay increase. In 2015 ministers received a 10.5% pay increase, nurses received 1%. Despite the Pandemic, no pay rise be issued for nurses. Despite all the documented failings reported over several years (see above), The UK Government found billions of pounds to pay other people wages whilst they sat watching TV. Healthcare Workers were risking their own lives and their families.
The UK have the highest Coronavirus deaths in Europe.
In the UK the HealthCare Workforce (NHS, Social, and GP’s) there are roughly 3.5million people. Would the UK Government consider a “thank-you” bonus? — it would boost the morale of a workforce that is exhausted and traumatised.
So, it is now August 2020 and we are at a point in COVID-19 of “re-setting” our positions within the NHS to discover or recommence better ways of working for the patient. I do find myself amazed at what the NHS has accomplished in such a short time (albeit with billions of extra financial support).
I have had a rollercoaster career, I am proud to be an NHS Nurse but I am no hero. The hero’s in this Coronavirus story are those 119 UK Healthcare workers who have died, including my friend, a young mother of 3beautiful children. She simply loved being a nurse. Across the world globally over 1800 healthcare workers have been listed as having fought and sadly lost their lives to COVID-19. The list is long, sobering, and surreal. Please remember them as the real Hero’s.
Those nurses who live on after this Pandemic are absolutely hero’s, but I know that they will need your thoughts, kindness, love and prayers as they are unable to un-see or undo the traumatic experiences of COVID.
