A Brief List of Names I’d Prefer My Grandkids Not Call Me

National Lackwit
Feb 8 · 5 min read
What have I ever done? According to my insurance policy, next to nothing of any value.

I still remember the day my daughter broke the news, “Daddy, I’m pregnant!” As soon as I learned I wouldn’t be financially responsible, I was overjoyed and stopped talking about abortion for several years.

The world resets with the birth of a baby. Everything is new again. New roles. New dynamics. Even new names. My wife — the Accountant Formerly Known as Evelyn —…