How To Conduct Brilliant 1:1s With Your Direct Reports
If you are serious about managing your staff, building great relationships and helping them deliver, develop and progress, the 1:1 is your absolute best tool.
For ease of reading, I am referring to your direct report as ‘her’. It could equally have been ‘him’.
What is a good 1:1?
A good 1:1 is:
- A regular, 30-minute, face to face, private catch up.
- An event that both of you know will always (or almost always) happen. It takes place on the same day each week, at the same time.
- It is rearranged for the same week if missed for any reason.
- Is even done via video or phone if otherwise impossible.
It is a time when both of you know you have each other’s undivided attention and focus. It’s an opportunity for both of you to be listened to and to be heard.
When done regularly, it’s the best chance for you and your direct report to build a great relationship. It’s a time when you can both talk freely and comfortably about anything.
It’s also a chance to give and receive news and feedback about work and the workplace.
The 1:1 is your chance to show that you care about her and are serious about her wellbeing and development.
1:1 basic rules
- A 1:1 has a regularly scheduled time and place.
- Good managers rarely miss 1:1s, but life happens.
- In the 1:1, your primary focus is on your direct report.
- Taking notes and following up is critical.
- Eye contact, body language and active listening show interest.
- No mobile phones allowed and lids down.
What is a 1:1 NOT?
Your 1:1 is NOT a project or work update. The 1:1 is about your direct report, not project status updates. Use other meetings for project updates. But it is a chance to air genuine concerns if you feel she is not giving of her best.
A 1:1 is NOT a one-sided conversation. However, your direct report can take the whole 30 minutes if needed.
A 1:1 is NOT gossiping and moaning session.
How often should you do 1:1s?
For most managers, you should schedule a 1:1 with each team member every week. For some, bi-weekly might be OK.
If you have too many direct reports or are too busy to do a 1:1 with each of them every week, the real problem is that you have too many direct reports.
Where should you do 1:1s?
You can do a 1:1 anywhere you both feel comfortable. Ideally, it should not be in full view or earshot of your team.
It does not need to be in a closed room, and it does not need to be overly formal. I worked with a great manager who did every meeting in a closed room. He reasoned that if you usually do them in public and then suddenly do one in private, people might assume the direct report is in some trouble.
You will both be sharing feedback and personal or sensitive information, so make sure the environment is suitable. It’s essential you both feel free to talk and listen.
Ask your direct report where she feels comfortable having the 1:1 and make it happen.
How should you run a 1:1?
Once the 1:1 is regular, this is her session, so — in the most part — let them run it. The agenda is hers, every time. If you have anything you’d particularly like to discuss in a 1:1, set that out at the beginning. If you feel the need to, keep the session on track with guiding questions.
The golden content
Your 1:1s should last for half an hour, roughly divided into three ten minute sections:
1: Ten minutes for her to update you
2: Ten minutes for you to update her
3: Ten minutes to progress her personal and professional growth
NOTE: It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t work out like this. Generally, let the direct drive the agenda; it’s her meeting. She can have it all if she needs to.
First 10 minutes: listen, take notes & follow up
For the first ten minutes, your job is to listen to your direct report. Ask questions to learn more, but do not drive the agenda.
Practice active listening with eye contact, gentle nods and asking for more information on what she brings up. “Tell me more.”
Take notes of important points or action items. Do this in a notebook rather than on a laptop. A laptop forms a physical barrier, and it’s not clear what you are doing. It seems somehow sinister and way too formal. By all means, transfer your notes to a digital format later, but take them down by hand.
Keep your notes brief, so you are listening rather than writing. Don’t be buried in your notepad for the whole session — focus on your direct. If needed, pad the notes out straight after the meeting.
At the end of the 1:1, recap the action items for both of you. Agree who is doing what and by when. Commit to following up on anything you promise you will.
If you took action items away last time, start this 1:1 with an update (if you haven’t already looped back).
If things come up that you cannot influence or have already agreed to follow up on, park them for later.
Second 10 minutes: communicate
The second ten minutes is your time to talk with your direct report. Plan this before the meeting (keep notes across the week) and have it written in your notebook.
- What do you need to communicate?
- Are you focusing on any of her specific behaviours?
- What projects or work are you involved in that could impact her?
- What organisational issues/news/efforts can you share?
- What relevant meetings have you just attended — what did you learn?
- What is the information you need to get out to everyone — about schedules or projects or workload or our team or things happening in the company?
Third 10 minutes: her development
The final 10 minutes are specifically about her personal growth.
- What positive feedback can you give?
- What adjusting feedback can you give?
- Is there something you need to delegate?
- What project, task or work would be helpful to her development?
- Discuss her development objectives. Go over any training and development identified and agreed on. Make sure she is progressing them, and they are still relevant.
- Try to understand why they are not progressing, if necessary. Offer help where needed.
- Set new challenges when existing ones are complete.
How to start a 1:1
Ask an open question, then shut up and listen.
- Where would you like to start today?
- How are you?
- What’s on your mind?
- What else is on your mind? Repeat until done.
- So, how’s it going?
- Tell me about your week — what’s it been like?
- How’s your family/weekend?
- Try to make it as personal as she is comfortable with by learning family names.
Some 1:1 questions
- Where do you think I can be most helpful?
- How are you going to approach [this]?
- Tell me about anything you read about this week.
- What are your thoughts on my recent changes?
- What do you think about [this]?
- How do you think we can do [this] better?
- What are your future goals in [this area]?
- What areas of your work are you confident about?
- What are your plans to get there?
- What worries you?
- What suggestions do you have?
1:1 recap
The 1:1 is the single most important tool in your management toolkit
It’s a regular, rarely missed, 30-minute face to face private catch up.
It’s a time when your direct report has your undivided attention when she is listened to and heard. And vice versa.
Do not have your mobile with you. They tend to be a distraction. Show your complete focus by putting it away.
Its purpose is building a great relationship and trust, and helping her deliver, develop and progress.
It’s a time when you can both talk freely and comfortably about anything.
It’s a chance to give and receive news and feedback.
You should take notes, agree on action items and commit to following them up.
Of course, take these tips and do it your way. It’s your 1:1 and ti’s good to develop your own style.
