To love your work

Who looks back on their past work with any pride? Not the process, which can be nostalgic regardless of the output, but the the actual end work.

What does it mean to love your work? Are you a genius who created something of significance? Are you an amateur because you’re too naive to know your work is terrible? You’re aware of your skills and got lucky?

I look back on my past work and think it is ok. Even recent work. I don’t know what that says about me. Besides that I can do better, that is.

I’d like to think I have a healthy understanding of who I am and what I am capable of. I’d love to create work I loved. That would stand the test of time. But most of it is fleeting. Much of it doesn’t even still exist in any fashion.

Every once in awhile self doubt creeps in. I’m not capable. I have peaked. Despite my longing for more I will never put in the energy to break past this current plateau.

So far, more often than not, it’s nonsense.