One Simple Habit That Destroys Your Happiness and Success

Everyone talks about how to become “happier”:

Yada yada yada (even though I agree with them).

But we overlook a simpler solution:

Eliminate the bad habit preventing your happiness in the first place.

We know we shouldn’t do it. Yet we do it daily without thinking twice.

So, what is this terrible habit?

Judgment.

Judging situations as good or bad, right or wrong.

Judging other people’s ideas, beliefs, actions, looks, and decisions, as well as our own.

Every time we judge something, we lower our energy and consciousness. And it strips accomplishment away from our future.

How Does Judgment Destroy Your Happiness and Success?

Judgment negatively impacts us in many ways. Here are three big examples:

1. Judgment is Not Truth

Even though our judgments are subjective, we accept them as reality.

Many people believe that “social media marketing is a waste of time.” But is it true?

In certain, specific situations, of course it’s true. It’s easy to waste time and money on something that doesn’t work.

But this generalization is completely false. There are thousands of people generating incredible returns by marketing on social media.

Unfortunately, you don’t notice that your judgments are not actually facts. So when you say that marketing on social media won’t work, you believe it.

Sure, it’s possible that your social media marketing efforts could fail. Maybe you have past experiences that led to this belief.

But there may be some excellent opportunities too.

You’ll never know if you don’t ever question your judgment.

2. Judgment Destroys Relationships

Trust is the breeding ground for rapport.

When we trust that others will accept us without judgment, we bond with them.

People want to feel like they can be themselves around you.

When you judge people’s differences as “bad,” you put space between you and the other person.

Even if you only judge them in your head, you create a mental barrier that prevents you from trusting them.

And worse, if you judge them out loud, you’ll lose their trust in you. They won’t feel safe being honest with you.

It’s great when you find similarities. It helps strengthen your relationship.

But differences are okay too, as long as you don’t judge them as “bad” or “wrong.”

Otherwise, you’ll destroy what could have been a great relationship.

3. Judgment Breeds Negativity

A life full of fear, self-doubt, anxiety, stress, and blaming is a terrible way to live.

It’s bad for your physical and mental health. It’s terrible for your success and happiness.

And one of the leading contributors is negative thinking.

We live in fear because we view ourselves negatively. We worry because we think about the negative consequences.

And guess where many of our negative thoughts come from…

…That’s right, judgment.

Even though we sometimes make positive judgments (“his artwork is lit!”), we make way too many negative ones:

• I don’t like her hair
• That guy’s a douche
• Whoever designed the city’s street light system did a terrible job

And worse, we judge ourselves negatively:

These negative judgments foul our mood and reinforce horrible and untrue beliefs.

When we stop judging, we stop infiltrating our minds with destructive thoughts and give ourselves the opportunity to enjoy life on a whole new level.

Three Simple Ways to Become Judgment Free

Okay, I lied. It’s almost impossible to become completely judgment-free.

But the following three strategies will help you judge much less often.

1. Awareness

Simply being aware that you make judgments often and that they are harmful to your life helps.

Just reading this article can help reduce your judging. You can only quit judging if you’re aware of it in the first place, and this is the first step to doing that.

Also, pay attention to your judgments-both good and bad.

You don’t even need to do anything else, just try to become more aware. When you’re consciously aware of them, it reduces their impact because you can logically tell yourself that it’s a judgment, not a fact.

The more aware you become, the less your judgments can hurt you.

2. Judgment Journal

As you become more aware of your judgments, you should create a judgment journal.

It’s simple, just take a small notebook that fits in your pocket and create two columns. One side for “good” and the other for “bad”.

Anytime you judge something, write it in your journal under the appropriate column.

This practice ramps up your awareness. You’ll be amazed how often you judge people and situations that you never realized before.

Do this until catching your judgments becomes second nature.

3. Pattern-interrupt

Lastly, use the pattern-interrupt to really change your life.

As your awareness grows, it’s time to replace your judgments with accurate or more helpful statements.

Let’s say you catch yourself judging a woman’s hair by thinking, “Wow, that is an ugly hairstyle.”

Immediately, tell yourself to erase that thought and then replace it with something like, “Different people have different styles. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.”

Or if you tell yourself you shouldn’t try to become a writer because you’re going to fail, instead say something like, “My first handful of writings probably won’t be great or become hits. But if I write consistently for three years, the odds are great that I will become a good writer.”

You can even replace it with something that isn’t true yet, but is positive and something you want to be true in the future, like, “I am a great writer.”

Your negative thoughts hinder your performance even when you take action to accomplish your goals. Because, eventually, you sabotage your own efforts.

But when you eliminate these bad thoughts and beliefs, you set yourself up for success by getting out of your own way.

It’s Time For You To Finally Achieve Your Dreams

I’ve hit roadblocks for every goal I’ve ever wanted.

I’m even overcoming some right now as I try to move closer to what I want.

And the single best way to accomplish your goals sooner is to stop judging everyone and everything.

When you believe that judgment is truth, you let limiting beliefs prevent you from doing important tasks and chasing your dreams.

When your judgments hurt your relationships, it’s infinitely harder to rally people around your cause to make your dreams happen.

And when your judgments create negative thinking, you squander your ability to create and accomplish.

Instead of judging things as good or bad, see things from all angles.

See how it could be true or untrue. See how it could be helpful or hurtful.

Understand that there may be other ways to perceive the situation.

Instead of judging, try to understand.

Instead of judging, seek to create.

Instead of judging, chase your dreams.

Originally published at https://robriker.com on June 6, 2021.