Why are fake braces so popular in Asia?
Asia fashion ALERT: Braces are IN. Over the past few years, braces have become considered attractive and desirable in many Asian countries. My 13-year-old socially awkward self’s reaction? Oh, come on!
This trend is actually a few years old, and specifically popular in Thailand, Malaysia, and Indonesia. What’s fascinating about this is that this infatuation with metal mouth led to a bit of a “black market” for fake braces in this part of the world. I wish I were making this up.
See, back in the day, you were probably too busy screaming vitriolic hatred at your parents and listening to Linkin Park to understand that those braces the orthodontist was soldering to your teeth were actually hella expensive.
A full set of legitimate braces in Thailand costs around $1,200 USD, and the average monthly income in Thailand is under $400. I don’t know about you, but spending three months income on god damn braces for “fashion reasons” is legitimately the most psychotic thing I’ve heard in a good while. This, in turn, led to a demand for fake braces. For a while, one could buy them online or even in street-side market stalls, and they cost around $100. Some were even of the DIY variety, because who doesn’t want to give themselves braces?
Now I know what you’re thinking. “Okay another Asian fashion trend that makes no sense. But what’s the big deal with an underground market for fake braces? It’s not like it’s killing anyone.” Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but these braces did, in fact, kill people.
A couple years back, these fake braces were linked to the death of two Thai teenagers, both of whom developed fatal infections due to the glossy killers. This caused the Thai government to institute a fine of around $1000 and six months in prison for anyone caught selling these fake braces. What about importing them from a country such as Indonesia, where they are still legal? Up to one year in prison. For braces.
There’s only one question left to answer. Why? Why the hell are braces considered anything more than social suicide and a reason to scream to your parents about how they don’t understand you? Well, quite a few Asian pop stars have been seen rocking them in recent years, and we all know that it’s human nature to try and decorate every part of the body possible. Teeth were just the next logical step. 2017 will be the year of internal organ bedazzling. If you want to get a jumpstart on your kidney rings purchase, please contact me. I have a guy.
Also, lest we forget, a lot of rappers have taken this braces fad in a different direction. Remember grillz? GRILLZ?
Asia has long been a hotbed for fashion trends and fads that we dated westerners struggle to wrap our drab minds around. I mean, are fake, Hello Kitty bedazzled braces any stranger than putting caps on one’s canine teeth to make them look like goddamn crooked-teeth-having British vampires? Or donning colorful latex ski masks (aka face-kinis) when going to the beach?
Now that braces are cool, all I need now is Billabong clothing, stupid middle-part haircuts, Upside down visors, acne, Gameboy Color (Pokemon Blue FTW) and Animorphs to become hot new trends and 13-year-old me will finally have sweet, sweet vindication.
