The Beach
Not everyone values success
“Maybe I’m not born to just become successful”, said Angelo. His friend, Elliot, tried to convince him of reaching his full potential. Elliot knew what Angelo was capable of. He was more concerned about Angelo than Angelo was about himself. Angelo loved his friend for his concern and sincere support.
The two friends were sitting on the beach in Lagos. They loved Lagos for the obvious reasons, but also for the thirty-hour road trip to get there. They both enjoyed driving long distances.
“It puts me in a trance”, Elliot once said. “It’s impossible to think about bills or other things while you’re on the road. And even when you think about it, there’s not much you can do until you get back home.”
Angelo added, poetically, as he usually does: “While you drive, the windshield becomes like a painting of a landscape that subtly changes every few minutes.”
The deep conversations on the road were in big contrast to the chat they had with some Lagos girls on the beach. Angelo flirted openly, knowing that the girls only loved the flirting part and nothing more would come out of it.
The day was sunny, hot, and the good energy of a place far from home made the two friends more outgoing. They weren’t going to a far place to just sit there by themselves. If they wanted to be bored, they would’ve never left their home town.
After their little chat, the girls greeted the boys goodbye and wished them a happy stay in the city that was less magical to the people already living and working there. Elliot took a sip of his drink and admired the piece of art it was. It looked too nice to drink, but it wouldn’t last long.
Angelo was a little less concerned with the looks of his drink and took a big chug. He was less ceremonious with his food.
“But you need something to move towards to”, said Elliot. “Some direction. Some goals. Something you can be proud of.”
Angelo took another sip of his drink. “I don’t want to move towards something”, he replied. “Life can’t seriously be a series of things or tasks you just have to finish? Even if you are the one that decides what those things are. It just seems so futile.”
Elliot asked: “So you will just waste your talent?”
“That’s up to me.”
“Others would love to have what you have. They’d kill for your gift.”
“That doesn’t sound like a good reason why I should do something with it.” Angelo looked up to the sky and sighed. He had a hard time explaining his non-action.
Angelo tried again: “That sounds more like I owe them something because life handed me a certain gift while they have to work hard for it. I almost have to feel guilty for having my talents. I refuse to let guilt move me into action.”
“Well, what do you want to do with your life?” asked Elliot.
As he looked at the sea and the waves it formed, Angelo finished his drink. He quickly smiled back at some friendly locals walking by and replied: “Why do you guys always feel like you have to do something with your life?”
“It fulfills me” replied Elliot. “Knowing I did my best and live a meaningful life. I value being a good father, brother, son, colleague, friend. I want to do something meaningful.”
“Damn, I already feel those things without doing anything”, joked Angelo. They both laughed but also knew that Angelo meant it. He really had nothing to prove.
Angelo continued: “It looks like you guys are always in a hurry. Always needing to go somewhere.”
“But that’s what gives this life value.”
“Howcome I already find life valuable without having to do something about it? I already enjoy it, while you will only enjoy it once you ‘reach’ whatever goals you have.”
“But you can’t just sit there and do nothing for the rest of your life?”
“Well, I can.”
Angelo looked around at the beach. The sand. The endless sea. The mountains. The sky. He also thought about the stars that would come out at night. He always pondered the endlessness of space. How far everything stretched out. If the universe had an end, a border where it ‘stops’, it would be impossible to wrap his head around. If it didn’t have an end, it was an equally impossible situation to logically explain.
“I’m in a state of constant wonder, Elliot. I love this place. Of course, things bother me sometimes and there are things I hate. But overall, I’m just too curious about what this place is. What this planet is. What this space is in which this planet appears. What we are. I think about all those things. I love just knowing that we’re here and we can do whatever we want. We get to think whatever we want. We decide what life means to us. I just like to be in awe of it all.”
Elliot loved this about Angelo. Angelo’s dreamlike state was infectious. Angelo didn’t have much but he was completely free inside himself. Whenever Elliot was with Angelo, he also felt completely free. Still, Elliot had goals. Things he wanted to achieve. Things he wanted to have. Things he wanted to become.
“I like that about you, Angelo. You always see things in your own unique way. I wish I could dream like you dream.”
“I’m not only dreaming this, I’m actually living the things I tell you. I’ve had the success that most people desire. I’ve had the house, my dream car, my dream job, my dream girl. Everything. It didn’t do it for me. I can spend the rest of my life repeating that success. What’s the next step for me? The same life, but twice as big? More success?”
“Fulfilment”, added Elliot.
Angelo smiled and said: “I like my way of looking at things more than being fulfilled. I like being — what you guys call — dreamy. I actually like myself this way. I adore me.”
Elliot and Angelo both laughed. Again, they knew Angelo meant it. It felt as weird for Angelo to say it as it was for Elliot to hear it. But Angelo not only said it. He lived it. Angelo had spent a big part of his life adoring things outside of himself. Once he had those things, he felt it changed nothing inside of him.
He then decided to listen to the wishes that came from the inside. After doing that for a while, he noticed these wishes were again things that didn’t give him anything. The things were ‘nobler’ this time: peace, rest, fulfillment. Still, he felt they were just things he had to move towards. It just felt off to him to go and get something outside of himself, even if those things were not material stuff.
It was around that time that Angelo had called Elliot in panic: “I don’t know what to do! It feels like nothing is working for me. I feel completely empty and extremely bored.”
Back then, Elliot had advised him to do something that would give him energy: “Just do one thing you really like. Make sure you have some routine.”
Angelo hated routine. He loved his friend, and so, accepted Elliot's advice. The feeling of emptiness and boredom were too hard to handle. Maybe routine would help. Angelo later found out it didn’t.
Here, sitting at the beach, he playfully buried his feet in the sand. The sun felt great on his skin. How he loved this climate and how relaxed the people on the beach were.
He thought about that time he had called Elliot in panic. The panic had faded away later on. Not because of the routine or because of some new hobbies that gave him more energy. It faded away because he was less busy. For a while, being less busy felt boring. Living in a world where everyone is in a rush, moving slowly through life feels like a crime. It feels like a personal flaw you have to correct. It feels like you have to hurry and catch up to life.
He decided he wasn’t doing that anymore. He loved going through life slowly. He loved just thinking about the universe. The stars. The only planet he knew of that had water falling from the skies. He loved some of the people on that planet. He started to love how he looked at life. So different from how everybody in a hurry looked at life.
He loved that about himself. It was at that point that he liked himself more. He enjoyed his own company. The urge to move towards something was gone. What once felt like boredom now felt like his natural state: cool and calm inside his own world. It made him a better friend, a better father, and a happier person.
Elliot copied his moves and buried his feet in the sand too. “Maybe you aren’t here to be successful. I think you are here for something else.”
“Elliot”, said Angelo. “I think one of those girls really liked you and they’re heading this way again. Let’s go talk to them.”
The girls had already noticed them from afar and smiled. The boys took their feet out of the sand, stood up, and Elliot said: “I think you’re right. Let’s go get a drink with them.”
