The Winner — part 9

(This is part 9. Click here for other parts: https://medium.com/nebulabyday)

Janice expected this reaction from David and replied with a deliberately slow voice: “I think you better calm down David.”

This only angered David more. He was usually able to contain his anger but since Elijah’s outrageous move, he lost all composure. If he had anything to lose, he already lost everything by now. Any punishment from Janice could not be made worse by David’s behavior. He didn’t hold back and again demanded an explanation. This time from Elijah. “What the hell is this supposed to be, Elijah?”

Elijah didn’t reply and just stood there enjoying his peace and observed David struggling to understand the situation. A few days ago Elijah felt the same turmoil. The contrast between David and himself at this moment only made him appreciate his newfound peace much more.

“Luna”, Janice called still looking at David.

“Yes?” asked a very distressed Luna. She was hoping for clear instructions from Janice. Without any help, it was impossible for Luna to manage her team today. The whole situation was disorienting and broke the daily rhythm she built up with her team. Behind Luna, all her team members were waiting for Janice’s instructions.

Janice: “Please guide all the audience members to the exit. There will be no shooting today.”

If David and Luna were stressed out already, they were in complete panic by now. They both looked at Janice. Silently demanding even more explanation.

Janice: “Go on. And tell your team to head home for today.”

Luna looked at Elijah who could only slightly smile back. Luna was thinking that whatever it was that Elijah had done, it should have impressed Janice. The calmness that Janice showed could only be interpreted as an agreement to Elijah’s actions or as an indication that hell was about to break loose. Janice always expressed herself in a calm manner. Luna had learned to differentiate which calm manner meant what. Janice’s calmness had different meanings and Luna knew which type of calmness was good and which type of calmness was to be feared. At this point, however, no experience was of any help to Luna. She just obeyed hoping not to make matters worse and quietly helped the audience towards the exit. Not thinking much of it, the audience obeyed and followed Luna’s orders to gather outside.

What David saw, wasn’t just the audience being guided away. David saw his show walking away from him. He saw people walk away that attended his show every day and made him feel everything he needed to feel. Being a show host without an audience felt like a lost cause. As he saw the people walk away, he felt his power slip away. He felt the means to express his charisma fade away. He felt the meaning of his days walk towards the exit. As he felt everything that he valued fall apart slowly, he directed his anger towards Elijah. With balled fists and anger on his face, he looked at Elijah. David was smart enough not to become physical, but the power play at hand was visible to everyone.

“Your anger is called for, but I would think twice before acting on it”, Janice interrupted.

David pleaded: “Please Janice, what is happening?”

Janice: “Everyone has left the room. Let’s have a little talk. David. Elijah.”

Janice started slowly walking across the room and took another hit of her cigarette. She exhaled and looked at David.

Janice: “Elijah has won.”

David: “He’s been feeding us wrong answers for the last couple of days. He won nothing.”

Janice: “Not the game, David. Think. Please.”

David now felt a little humiliated. Being absorbed inside his own little world he had no clue there was anything outside of the game. He just didn’t understand what exactly Elijah has won.

David: “How has he won the game when we decide who wins or loses?”

Janice: “He used a trick that I once used. The trick to winning a game that can’t be played fair.” She took a sip of her whiskey and continued: “David. You are one of the best players in this game. You are comfortable here. At this stage. You love the attention and the reactions from the audience. That’s why I chose you as the show host.”

David accepted the compliment but still didn’t understand what was really going on.

Janice: “The show is your game. You walk around here like you own the place. You thrive in this environment and once the cameras roll, you are the face of this show.”

David: “I thought I was in control. Guess I wasn’t.” He held his back straight but his eyes gazed at the ground. As much as he wanted to keep himself together, he had to admit defeat. Still curious about what happened, he asked: “So, what trick did Elijah use that you once used?”

“I was once part of a game like this”, replied Janice. “I stood in exactly the same spot that Elijah stood in when he started. I was once ‘winning’ this game. They kept letting me win. For many days. At a certain point winning felt like losing. I wanted my life back, but I kept winning.”

“What’s so terrible about that?” asked David.

Janice: “To you, it is the best thing. I’ve always liked that about you.”

David looked up a little.

Janice: “You don’t try to act differently. You love the lights. You love winning more than anything. As much as I like winning, I like my freedom more.”

“But winning buys you freedom”, said David.

Janice: “It buys a lot of things. But freedom in my life was present even before I started winning. I joined a game because I loved what it stood for. It invited me to learn. It challenged me to build something out of my knowledge. I could put my curiosity and hunger to good use. Elijah came on this show for the exact same reason.”

Elijah just nodded and looked at Janice. She continued: “But at a certain point, winning was no longer helping me. It became a burden. I was looking forward to enjoying my freedom again but I was trapped. Trapped inside a game. Trapped by winning.”

David: “If everything is built around keeping you inside the game, how did you escape?”

Janice: “The first few days after finding out I was trapped were the hardest. They told me it was impossible to leave the show. I was in shock and I believed them. It was hard to accept and it cost me so much energy that I couldn’t even think straight. Then after a few days, I got my mind back and tried to find a solution applying the methods I used before: trying harder. I tried winning more in hopes of winning everything there is to win so they could let me go. But that is not how it works. For a game that is designed to keep you, trying harder is not a sensible solution. It only feeds into the system that wants to keep you here. For me, it took many days to figure this out. Elijah did it faster.”

She looked at Elijah, took another sip, and continued: “Once I figured out that I couldn’t win by winning more, I was devastated. I saw all this money pile up but I was longing for my freedom. I had to think of a solution to leave this game and go back to my own life. I just sat quietly and had to rethink everything I had known to be true. I had to think outside the box and figure out a way to make it out of this game and into my life.”

David: “So, you used ‘the trick’. What is the trick?”

Janice smiled and continued: “I was so caught up in the game because it gave me everything I wanted. It fed my curiosity. It helped me put my knowledge to use. It made me feel special. It had me thinking that my only power was the ability to answer questions. To figure stuff out so I could ‘add to the game’. Everything I valued, the game supplied. And since I loved what the game gave me, I gave the game my full attention and cooperation. I thought as the game. I acted as the game. I identified with the game. The rules of the game became rules for me to live by. In just a matter of days, its prestige made me blind to anything other than the rules of the game. I was thinking of solutions to escape from the game within the rules of the game.”

David: “So you had to break the rules?”

Janice: “Yes. But they wouldn’t let me break them so easily. The people who owned the game weren’t ready to let me go without a fight.”

David: “You probably won a lot of money. Couldn’t you buy your freedom? I guess the game hosts were only focused on money. Just give them what they wanted.”

Janice: “Do you think I am focussed only on money, David?”

David felt a little embarrassed having asked that question. He knew nothing of Janice’s motives and now he implied she was mainly motivated by money. He replied by staying silent.

Janice: “The money I earned played a big part in earning my freedom. But the real solution came from letting go of the game’s rules. Day by day I became less obsessed with winning. Every day not having my freedom, was one day too many. I bought a lot of nice things that I am thankful for, but all those things couldn’t replace my need for freedom. The need to live life on my own terms. The need to be me. The more I bought, the more I knew it was not fulfilling me. The solution was definitely to be found outside of all this.”

David: “I can’t really understand how winning the game turned to be less fun for you. But I guess what is valuable to me doesn’t really have to be important to you.”

Janice: “You are right. What winning is for someone, is losing for the other. We experience this game differently. I don’t think one view is better than the other. That’s why I always liked seeing you enjoy this game so much.”

David: “Don’t you enjoy this game?”

Janice: “For different reasons.”

“I’m still curious about what both of you got yourself since buying stuff didn’t fix the problem for you”, David said and with a sly smile asked: “Did you guys buy a helicopter to escape from here?”

Elijah chimed in: “Well, the helicopter came with the purchase.”

A confused David looked slightly irritated at Elijah, then at Janice and asked: “So, once Elijah leaves, how are we picking up the show again?”

Janice: “I will no longer be here for the show. The game has been played and my part is over. I enjoyed working with you but I recommend you get a better relationship with Elijah.”

David: “What do you mean? Are we going to be colleagues?”

Janice: “If you know what I bought for my freedom and what Elijah bought, you know you will not be colleagues.”

David's eyes grew wide and he couldn’t believe what he was guessing. He added everything up in his mind and came to a conclusion of what had happened. It had to be the most outrageous outcome from all of this. “Are you saying you bought…”

Janice nodded with a smile as she saw David putting all the pieces together. She knew that he knew. “Do you now know how I escaped the show?”

David, still in disbelieve and in complete reverence for their perseverance, could barely utter the words. He never thought the answer would be so simple. He also knew that the simple answer they found came through different difficult experiences. He respected it and even felt proud of them. It was a simple trick but hard to pull off. Especially given the pressure they both had to endure. He acknowledged that they had to think outside a box firmly established inside of them. He personally knew how hard it was to break a habit or thought pattern. He was no fan of breaking such patterns within himself and often indulged in whatever pleasure he got from staying within his habits. The work one has to do to release themselves from ingrained habits is hard. He respected it. He stood up straight and looked at both of them. He saw them looking back with a glow of freedom on their faces. They were no longer trapped inside a game that gave them just one aspect of a life that has too much to offer. He looked at Elijah and with newfound respect said:

“My god. You bought the game.”

Elijah confirmed: “The whole damn game show, David.”

Janice: “That includes my helicopter.”

David asked Janice: “And you allowed it?”

Janice: “That was a purchase I could not deny. There were many rules but this was the solution to escape from this game. Just like how I did it when I was in Elijah’s position. I had to put him through many trials for him to come to this solution. I closed many doors so he would find this one. I have put so much pressure on both of you so you would both go to extremes in order to find your highest potential. Elijah thought his ability to answer questions was his biggest potential. He thought the possession of his knowledge made him valuable. Just like I had been taught, I had to teach Elijah that it was not his knowledge that made him valuable. Our power is the ability to navigate through situations and find solutions even if we don’t know how at that moment. That creates a certain peace and tranquility that knowledge can’t give you. In the beginning, we both were stunned because of the scope of this challenge. But once we found peace with the situation, new thinking started to come to us. Those new thoughts brought new solutions. That is how you escape a game that wants to keep you stuck. It wasn’t the game that kept us here. It was our limited thinking.”

David: “Unbelievable. I am stunned.”

Elijah: “Me too. I’m still not used to all of this but I am starting to enjoy this.”

David: “So if we are not colleagues and you bought the show…does this mean you are my boss?”

Elijah: “Please don’t call me ‘boss’. But yes, I am your boss.”

They all laughed and David, still a bit worried, asked: “Ok, but please go easy on me.”

Elijah: “I will. In fact, I really enjoy working with you and I am sure we’ll have a great time together.”

David nodded and was relieved to know his role within the game was still secured. He had to get used to the new situation and his new ‘employer’. Janice saw a completely exhausted David and knew he could use some time to process all of this.

Janice: “Go home and rest. The show will have to be built up again with renewed energy and ideas. I will leave it up to you, Elijah, and Luna to manage the show. I’m sure it will be a successful endeavor.”

Elijah: “What are you going to do, Janice?”

Janice: “I will miss the feeling this show gave me. I have enjoyed the speed and pressure of the show. Working within hectic environments has become my natural state. I will have to find something that will feed my interest. But for now, I will probably take some time to just enjoy being free. The very thing I fought for in the first place.”

Elijah: “And if you get bored?”

Janice: “Well, I will be free enough to choose what I will keep myself stuck with.”

They all smiled knowing that each one of them would be able to find their own happiness and meaning within every hectic period.

David: “I think I will accept your invitation to go home and rest. You guys are completely nuts.”

Elijah laughed: “I guess we are and I guess that’s what we needed to be. Let’s always stay nuts.”

Janice took another deep hit of her cigarette. She took the last sip of her whiskey, congratulated and greeted both men on their new show, and said: “I can’t wait to leave this damn show. Good evening.”

She slowly walked away as both men laughed.

The end.

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You can read previous parts here: https://medium.com/nebulabyday

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