Review: Magic Mike XXL
I want you to take your mind back to the first time you watched The Karate Kid. Remember the blabbermouth Daniel’s passion? His journey? The determination & the purgative catharsis of kicking karate’s then bad boy in the dead centre of his face to the adulation & relief of the spectators? Remember how immediately after you wanted to go out into the street & karate fresh air & inanimate objects with all the zeal of 20th century karate man (person)? That. If you aren’t cognizant of this upwelling while you take in Magic Mike XXL you’re liable to wind up in jail or richer.
How much of a soft-brained ass am I to be seduced by the team can-do spirit & hopes of the lovable travelling muscle family of mentertainers? There is bald NOTHING of significance in the boys’ interactions or in the unfolding of the story. The idea is totally uninspired: it’s been 3yrs since Magic took his pants off, at no extra charge he now renovates homes using sweat, muscle & vests; the other 80% of male biomass naturally show up in an organic fro-yo van trying to get Magic to take his pants off one more time; Magic anguishes over leaving behind his new life for as many minutes as abs a man can reasonably house; & off they go to the Tampa male entertainers’ convention, making friends & benefits as they go.
There are no obstacles or trials beyond perhaps turning their over-sculpted necks & how to get Magic off his phone (the dear’s responsibly liaising with abandoned customers and employee) and just “be here” with his bros. About 6min are devoted to half-assed beef (that’s not a character), 2 phones are spitefully tossed from the yogurt truck, there’s a handful of ‘what the hell, bro’s & the boys end up giggling.
Fortunately they manage to keep every character unannoying (a word?). Often side characters in team movies are needlessly Howie D or, worse, way too AJ. Actually honestly just remembered more suspense involving intense discussion of the Backstreet Boys, which was funny enough. I laughed hardest however at the unbridled joy of the two girls next to me. I felt a weird satisfaction that a parent might seeing glee on the face of a child but at women joyfully barking orders at the screen, if you’ll pardon the infantilising metaphor.
But maybe this has to do with the whole package. Maybe I’ve got a lot to learn but you really feel like you’re part of something good. Perhaps these lugs are self-proclaimed “healers” & the trials that really count are those of the women to whom they bring ‘catharsis’ (the gang also don’t shirk the healing duty to get it off for a gay & trans audience too). But the story’s explicit on glutes, not on politics. And of course this isn’t missing the target but on that some may be let down by the ambling road-trip gaps between getting down to movie-ticket-cost stripping (which is impressive for the most part).
Magic Mike was the chunky baby of keen eye Steven Soderbergh (Traffic, Ocean’s Eleven) but on XXL he switched out director for cinematographer and it shows. Magic Mike XXL is very cleverly filmed and lit. Try not to notice (but here I’m sorta spoiling anyway) that the selections of shots are tight angles in a van filled to the brim with manflesh, or a low ceilinged wine cellar, or a Scooby-Doo style country lane hugged by tangled, spooky trees. Every marginally claustrophobic setting serves to brace you until your publicly legal release at crescendos where the dancers are set free to literally fly & slither over frantic hordes of ladyflesh.
Ordinarily you should give any sequel the hairy eyeball immediately: what is it you sucked at saying in the first movie; how are you developing the characters or story or at least our way of apprehending them and not just rent-seeking? But we’re under no illusions that people are horny & execs like money and still you won’t feel totally cheated. Ladies, take your ladies (shame, take your mom too!); men, take your ladies; men your men, and other overlap. Let your hair down, laugh it up, take an extra pair, learn some moves.
Outcome: 7.5/10
P.S. You and I deserve The Karate Man sequel WITH Ralph Macchio (55) ASAP
