What Should Justin Bieber’s Next Single Be?
Crying at the VMAs, the heartfelt interviews on Ellen…we can all agree that Justin Bieber is acting a little different lately, right? It’s not a bad change. To keep this pattern of emotionally charged yet upbeat singles, here’s a few suggestions for some upcoming ones.
“Grown” (feat. Kanye West)
After announcing that he’s working on an album with the 2020 election candidate himself, Justin and Yeezus have to do a song together. This collaboration has the potential of Justin being at his highest angst. It could take the often-used layout of a sad, crooning chorus mixed in with Kanye’s killer verses. All of this to say that Bieber never left the public eye, but now it’s time for us to see the real him.
Sample lyrics: “Oooooh baby I’m grownnn / getting away from all I’ve known / not the same guy I was before / so stay tuned for what’s in store.”
Hey, this was actually a pretty substantial suggestion. Don’t worry. It only gets worse from here.
“Baring It All”
This wouldn’t be a well-rounded list if I didn’t allude to the nude pictures of the Biebs that were “leaked” this past month. Now, this song doesn’t have to be so blunt with the reference. It could be a diss track hidden between the lines of Justin serenading to a girl he loves.
Sample lyrics: “Girl, I’m baring it all / breaking down all these walls (giiiirl) / Not trying to hide anything from you now (giiiirl) / oooooh we’re breaking dooooownnnn.”
But if the song also admits to the leak being an excellently timed PR stunt, then that totally works too.
“Can Ü Hear Me Now?”
Because his previous song with Skrillex and Diplo just doesn’t seem to be enough for mainstream radio…here’s the follow-up (part two, if you will) of what led off this new era of Bieber.
For added fun, this song will sample the timeless “Can You Hear Me Now?” Verizon commercials. Ridiculous? Of course. But come on, Skriplo. Follow the sage advice of Tim Gunn and make it work.
In lieu of lyrics, I will be pitching a music video idea for this one. Mostly because the lyrics aren’t going to make sense and half of them will consist of the title anyway.
Sample music video pitch: The camera pans to Bieber sitting in his living room, with his brows furrowed deep in thought. It’s quiet, the late night air is still. He looks to his cell phone, where he looks at his wallpaper of him and a pretty girl that looks like someone you can’t quite put your finger on, but we all know it’s Selena Gomez.
The wallpaper stays in focus for quite some time, not for the wallpaper, but for Verizon’s name on the top left corner because you gotta love that product placement. The song starts, and Bieber dials Mystery Girl’s number. You see her at a party with her friends, but she barely has service. She looks down at her screen. AT&T. Burn.
“T.A.C.O. (Thinking About Chilling Out)”
There’s no product placement in this one, I promise. Unless Taco Bell is down to do so.
Really, the idea was inspired by this gem of a quote from Justin himself when talking about his Christian beliefs: “Like I said, you don’t need to go to church to be a Christian. If you go to Taco Bell, that doesn’t make you a taco.”
Since Justin is a millennial boy in a millennial world, he could make an entire song about Netflix and Chill and it’d be a hit. But it wouldn’t be that simple, of course. Justin could talk about how he wants to do more than just that. He wants to actually chill and get to know your soul by actually binge-watching the latest season of “The Walking Dead” with you.
Sample lyrics: “I don’t just wanna make this bout Netflix and Chill / not about that life, it’s the real deal / Girl so hit me up if that’s what you want too / Thinking About Chilling Out with you.”
BONUS TRACK: “Uncomfortable”
Since this would be that track in the album you’d get if you pre-order the album through Target, it doesn’t need a video or a crazy, catchy hook for radio airplay.
The whole point is that Justin needs to address that weird (now-deleted) tweet his dad made about his nude photos. A simple track like “Uncomfortable” would probably be the most relatable song of the century because, well, we all feel that way (*shudders*).
Five wonderfully composed, potential number-one hits. And Justin, if you’re reading this, please thank me when you win the Grammy for “Can Ü Hear Me Now?” and make sure the Verizon guy is up there with you. We can all agree that he deserves the recognition.
Reach Staff Reporter Gennyvera Pacheco here.