Why You Should Encourage Conflict at Your Startup
(And how to do it the right way).
Last week, I made a fairly unusual argument about office culture: that being too good of friends with colleagues can actually be a bad thing. Especially at a startup.
😶
And I know what you’re thinking — is this man literally satan? 👿 I like my colleagues, how can that be a bad thing!
But bear with me here — I’m not talking about the kind of conflict you think.
When most people think of conflict, they picture two people screaming at each other to argue their point of view. Or, at the very least, they picture a heated argument that leaves both sides feeling upset and everyone worse off.
But this isn’t what I’m talking about when I use the word “conflict.”
Certainly, conflict always involves differences of opinion. But it doesn’t need to involve screaming, hurt feelings, or any negative emotion whatsoever.
It all depends on where you’re coming from and how you communicate in the workplace
What’s So Bad About a Conflict-Free Culture?
How many times have you been in this situation: there’s a new initiative your company has been planning or some new project your team is taking on, and the plan is more or less laid out and decided. Pretty much everyone was unanimous in supporting this plan: anytime someone asked if there were disagreements or other opinions during the planning phase, the room was silent and everyone sort of sheepishly nodded their heads.
Total consensus, right?
Well, everyone except you. The truth is, this whole initiative seemed like a waste of time from the beginning — but you don’t want to bring that up because you’re nervous about your boss getting irritated with you.
This was his idea, after all.
Fast forward a few months, and the entire project is in shambles. You’re behind schedule, none of the KPIs have been met, and it looks like you were right all along: this was a waste of time.
So what went wrong here? The truth is, the blame doesn’t rest with the idea. It rests with the process. Because the one thing missing from this story?
Conflict.
What Productive Office Conflict Looks Like
Now, let’s rewind to the start of this scenario.
Everyone is sitting around the room as your boss (or team leader, or Steve, or whoever) is asking if anyone has thoughts or concerns about the project before the team dives into it.
Except this time, instead of staying silent, you muster up the courage to raise your hand. 😖
This is the obvious first step in creating productive office conflict: you have to actually speak up.
But even more important is how you speak up. And to do it right, you need to get back to your intentions.
No, Really, You’re All On the Same Team
Chances are that unless you viscerally hate your job, you actually want your company to succeed. Even though you may think this project is a stupid idea, you only think that because you want to see your company and everyone in it do well, and you feel that this project runs counter to that goal.
If you dig deep enough, chances are that any opinion, idea, or concern you have related to work ultimately comes from a desire to see yourself, your colleagues, and your company do well.
Creating healthy conflict just depends on starting from that understanding, communicating within that framework, and understanding that everyone else wants the same thing.
This is how you create conflict without damaging emotions: you start from the framework that everyone, ultimately, wants the company and each other to succeed.
In this light, opposing opinions aren’t attacks — they’re gifts. Providing a different point of view is essentially the same thing as saying “I love this company. I want this company to succeed. I’m worried that the way we’re doing this will prevent us from growing.”
Framed this way, we can understand and navigate conflict completely differently. Workplace arguments no longer have to be about egos, politics, or performance rankings — they can be about the things that actually matter. And, more importantly, they can make your organization work better.
So really, creating conflict isn’t about stirring up the mud or stepping on toes. It’s about building a better organization, a better culture, and a better world.
And who can argue with that?
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Truthfully, we believe that if you want something bad enough and have the right tools, you can accomplish anything. These courses — and our whole business model — are designed to help you get there.
