“What is your best part of being a woman?”
“What is your best part of being a woman?” asked one of my colleagues during our lunch break. I couldn’t think of anything immediately. Was the answer to this question supposed to be that complicated? I and my female colleagues thought about it for a while, longer than we had thought we would. The colleague, who asked, further added “You could also start from the worst part, if you like.” We instantly had an answer for the worst part. “We don’t have (enough) freedom and liberty.” However, we were still looking for answers for the best part of being a woman. Then, one said, “For me, it is good being the only daughter in the patriarchal and matriarchal family.” And the other added, “Maybe it’s me having vagina and breasts.” I was sitting there listening to both of them. I still wondered, are they really the best part of me being a woman. I was still stuck thinking. I am still thinking. Many ideas crossed my mind. We dwelled on many propositions but we could not lie to ourselves. Maybe it’s not as easy as I thought it would be.
If I say it’s liberty (though very vague and subjective to circumstances), how can the best part of me being a woman could be liberty when I had a curfew of sunset to reach back home? And if I say equality, I saw my brother being given the exact size and kind of jeans he wanted while my parents, even the views of society, determined the type of jeans I was allowed to wear. When one says men and women are equal, one doesn’t mean biologically. One has to mean people of different gender and sexual identities should have same agency, equal rights, equality, access to resources and many more. One might say women mature at an early age. Do we even bother to think why women age before men or why a male child is more mischievous than female? Why are female kids always taught how loud her pitch should be while it’s considered okay for a male child to break an expensive china at relatives’ place? Women are accustomed in our society in a way that they are the silent parent to their brothers, the next mother to their father. They are forced to mature early. They are taught to clean up after everyone has eaten, it is okay to learn washing, dusting and especially cooking because it is always like only women have to eat their entire life and not men. Isn’t it time to even start thinking about it, let alone shaping our parenting skills accordingly?
As one suggested the best part is vagina and breasts but men have their own intimate organs. Furthermore, not every woman has breast(s) or vagina. I had read it somewhere that the oldest profession in the world is “Prostitution”. Perhaps the oldest and most powerful “weapon” women ever possessed is their sexuality, most tangible form being breast and vagina. The one, men never had and always fantasized. Maybe women always controlled men (and the world) through this weapon they possessed. A way of living, a way of surviving, a way of winning, at love, at life. I don’t know. Sociologist, psychologist, sexologist, policy makers and even God would be the best one to answer this. But for now, I would like to think and believe, both men and women, have their own unique and important sexual organs.
A woman might not be having a balding concern and a man might not have period cramps. A woman might not face performance anxiety while a man need not know how to wear a saree. It’s easier, practical and equitable and even modern to think they both are equal and equally capable, equally important in their unique ways. There is no need to see a raging woman as a bitch. There is no need to see a listening husband as a slave to his wife. The best part of being a woman can be her womanliness, her true nature, her true strength and her vulnerability. A strong, independent, passionate, ruthless woman need not always be labeled as pretending to be like the man when she is just being herself.
For me, the best part of being a woman is to be able to love someone and be loved back. Each one of us needs to be loved and the truest form can be experienced with the one who can reciprocate. I love the part of me as a woman is to be able to share my purest feelings and to know that I am being valued. For what it’s worth, we will always have women behind whatever we are today, a mother, a sister, a friend, a partner. At 28, I feel comfortable to think that I have found answers to my questions. However, it is okay to not have answers yet. I believe everyone will have their own when their heart is ready for one. So, what is your best part of being a woman??
Co-author: Nisha Neupane
