Bishu Rai

Utica, NY

Born in Bhutan, Bishu came to Nepal when her parents left Bhutan when she was 6 years old. After 22 years in a refugee camp in Nepal, she came to the US a year ago with her family. A recent divorcee and a mother of one, she is currently learning English at the Mohawk Valley Resource Center for Refugees, and looks to get a job.

“तपाईलाई भुटानको केही याद छ?”

“छ नि! मौरीले चिलेको याद छ। त्यहाँ पछाडी मलाई गाइको वरिपरि लक्ष्मीपुजा गरेको याद छ। बच्चा बेलामा अचम्मित भएको कुराहरु भएर होला, त्यही सम्झिन्छु।”

(“Do you remember anything from Bhutan?”

“Yes! I remember a bee stinging me on my back when I was little. Doing puja around a cow during laxmipuja. Perhaps because these were things that struck me as strange when I was little, I still remember them.”)

(अमेरिकाको बारेमा) “हल्ला त कति सुनियो सुनियो! हल्लाकै भरमा कल्पना गरेको, ‘ए, भुईं पनि टिलिक्क अरे, कहिँ थुक्न पनि नपाउने अरे’ भनेको सुन्दा त अमेरिका त सबै cement नै cement होला भन्ठानेथेँ! आखिरमा Utica त दमन जस्तै रैछ! माटो, धुलो त हुदों रैछ नि!”

(“We had heard so many rumors about America! I used to imagine what it was like from those rumors. When I heard, ‘Oh, even the floors are shiny there, you are not allowed to even spit anywhere’ etc., I had thought America was cemented all across, and that all the floors were cement! Ultimately, Utica was just like Daman! Even they have soil and dust!”)

“हामीले उहाँनै English पढेकै हो नि। हाम्रो English उनीहरुले बुझ्दैनन्, उनीहरुको English हामीले बुझ्दैनम। हामीले बुझ्न कस्तो गाह्रो हुन्छ। कोहीकोहीले त कस्तो पाराले बोल्छ, अनि कति fast बोल्छ। तर हामीले नै बुझ्ने try गर्नुपर्छ, उनीहरुले गर्दैनन्! नत्र त उनीहरुको अमेरिकन भाषा हराउँछ। अब life नै यहाँ बिताउने भएपछी सिक्नै पर्यो, जानिन्छ कि बुढेसकाल सम्म!”

(“We learnt English in Nepal too. But they don’t understand our English, and we don’t understand theirs. It is so difficult for us to converse. Some of them speak so differently, and others so fast. But we have to try to understand it, because they won’t! Otherwise their American language will get lost. Now that I have to live my entire life here, I have to learn. Maybe I will get it by the time I am old!”)

“अमेरिका कति बाठो छ। उनीहरुकै प्रगतिका लागि त हो! हामीलाई लिएर आयो, English सिकायो अनि उनीहरुको काममा लगायो! उनीहरुकै देश बिकासको लागि हो।”

(America is so clever. It is all for their progress! They bring us here, they teach us English, and they put us to work! It is all for the development of their country.”)

“मलाई त divorce गरेको यता आएको एकदम ठिक लाग्छ। नेपालमा दुख पाइन्थ्यो, यहाँ आफुले एक्लै भए पनि गरेर खान सकिन्छ। Record बिगारेन भने फ़ाल्दैन, उहाँ भएको भए छोरीको लागि दाइजो खोज्न थाल्नुपर्थ्यो!”

(“I feel good about my divorce and move here. If I was in Nepal, it would be miserable. Here, even if I am alone, I can make a living. If I don’t tarnish my record, they will not throw me out. There, I would have needed to start saving for my daughter’s dowry!”)