Battling Depression — Agitation Phase

Months after the restlessness phase, Gabriel led a normal life. He even applied for a Bachelor’s degree in Counseling and Psychology at Moi University. This was inspired by his stay in a mental facility, a story for another day.

Slowly, some weird symptoms started to creep in. He would get agitated by the slightest of things. Changing the TV station called for trouble. Requesting for a lower volume in the music system was like walking into a bee hive. It became more and more difficult to communicate with him. Everything became fake. Everything was geared towards his happiness.

One evening, we were all seated in the living room watching television. Suddenly, Gabriel burst out complaining and shouting. He didn’t want anyone touching him or trying to calm him down. He talked on and on and didn’t seem to stop. My dad, who was already getting worried approached him. Big mistake! Gabriel rushed out into the kitchen and carried a 20 liter can full of water. Wondering what he was going to do with it, our question was answered when he threw the jerrycan at my dad. Luckily, it missed him and hit the wall. Water splashed everywhere.

I rushed to switch off the main switch to prevent any electric accidents. When I got back, I found my mum begging Gabriel to calm down. He hated to be told so. He pushed her out of his way headed out. Aware of the potentially catastrophic consequences if he encountered a civilian in this state, I rushed to close the main gate. Unfortunately, I wasn’t fast enough. He found me trying to close the gate. His eyes were burning with rage.

How could I run from my own brother? My childhood friend? I decided to talk to him. As I attempted to calm him down, I received a blow on the stomach.

Things were getting out of control. He was bleeding from the mouth probably because of hitting the wall or cuts from a broken glass. He was shaking with anger and pacing around the corridors. The weak neighbors locked themselves in their houses while the strong ones joined hands and managed to pin him down.

My dad called a taxi and with the help of the neighbors, Gabriel was put inside the car. My parents boarded the taxi and headed to the hospital. On the way, Gabriel, who had been silent since they left, started talking.

“Why are you tying me with ropes? I’m not a bad person” He told them.

“We are preventing you from hurting yourself” My mum answered him.

“I promise not to hurt myself or anyone. Please untie me.” He begged.

My dad believed him. He untied him and just like he had promised, Gabriel behaved until they got to the hospital. When they went to the doctor’s office, the doctor was surprised to see them. The appointment was in the next 2 weeks. My parents explained what had happened. The doctor did some tests on Gabriel and confirmed that he had gone back to normal. He was given some pills and discharged.

In the next two months, Gabriel experienced other episodes. However, they were not as severe and he ended up calming down all by himself.

Typically when we think of depression, we think of the classic symptoms: sadness, low energy, insomnia, appetite changes, and so on. Sometimes, however, depression presents with a slightly different constellation of symptoms. Irritability or agitation is one of the symptoms that might be misinterpreted as rudeness or even violence.

From my experience, it starts with a routine annoyance — there is less sugar in the tea, or the living room is a mess again. Irritation takes hold, then mushrooms as swiftly as a nuclear explosion. Cheeks redden, the pulse quickens, and … boom — explosion!

Bringing the agitation under control by identifying the triggers may lessen the pressure to blow up, but that doesn’t mean the volatile emotions will entirely evaporate. That’s where anger management techniques come in, such as counting to 10, taking deep breaths, and finding a positive outlet instead of letting the steam build.

→ Next: The recovery phase