What’s This Self-Care Hype About?
A deeper look into self-care
In our fast-paced and demanding world, the concept of self-care has gained immense popularity as a means to enhance overall well-being. However, there remains a misconception that self-care is indulgent or selfish, leading some individuals to feel guilty for prioritizing their needs. Having felt this way myself, I wanted to look a little deeper into what self-care is and isn’t and perhaps overcome this notion that prioritizing myself makes me selfish. Here are just a few of the things I discovered in my quest for understanding.
What Self-Care Is and What It’s Not
Self-care is defined by Oxford Dictionary as “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.” I’d like to take a moment to emphasize the importance of the word ‘protecting’ in that definition. Self-care is about more than the occasional treat or luxury. It’s about protecting your mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Against the stresses of life. Against those who would cross your boundaries. Sometimes, the best self care isn’t chocolates or a bubble bath; it’s setting and keeping a healthy boundary with someone who depletes your energy with their incessant demands.
True self-care involves making conscious choices that contribute positively to your overall health, happiness, and personal growth. It is a holistic approach to ensuring your needs are met, fostering resilience and improving your ability to cope with life’s challenges.
Most of us have heard the analogy about the airplane mask. If you’re one of those who haven’t heard this analogy in association with the concept of self-care, I’ll give a quick overview. In this analogy, self-care is likened to a person being instructed to put the airplane’s drop-down oxygen mask on themselves first before trying to help the passenger next to them. The logic being — you can’t save or help anyone if you’ve passed out from lack of oxygen. Then you’d be the person in need of saving.
But I’d like to recon self-care to taking care of your vehicle. Is your car trashed? Driving around on bald tires and filled with junk food wrappers? Have you left the check engine light on for months or done the math on how overdue your car is for an oil change? Sure, it’ll keep on running… until it stops. And then you’ll be paying through the nose to get your car fixed and on the road again (I’m speaking from experience and not judging others here).
That poor, battered, over-used, and under-appreciated vehicle is like you without self-care. One day your body, mind, and emotions will reach their breaking point and then you’ll be paying for it. But with proper and — emphasis on regular and timely — maintenance, your care will run smoothly like it’s still brand new for many many many miles. In the same manner, regular and timely self-care can prevent meltdowns and keep you going even through the most stressful of times.
Again, self-care is about maintenance and protection. It’s not synonymous with selfishness or neglecting one’s responsibilities. It doesn’t mean shirking duties or disregarding others’ needs to focus solely on yourself. Instead, self-care enables you to become better equipped to fulfill your obligations and be more present for those around you.
The Benefits of Self-Care for Mental, Emotional, and Physical Health
I’ve come across many people over the years who think self-care is a hoax or a placebo when it comes to the beneficial factors associated with it. But I’ve found that those are also the people who may have misconceptions or faulty definitions of the phrase. There are numerous and notable benefits to taking care of yourself through the practice of self-care.
- Improved Mental Health: Regular self-care practices help reduce stress, anxiety, and burnout. Engaging in activities that bring joy and relaxation can boost mood, increase focus, and enhance cognitive function.
- Enhanced Emotional Well-Being: Self-care encourages emotional awareness and expression. It provides a safe space to process emotions, fostering greater emotional resilience and self-compassion.
- Physical Health and Vitality: Self-care includes activities such as exercise, proper nutrition, and sufficient rest. Taking care of your body enhances energy levels, strengthens immunity, and lowers the risk of chronic health conditions.
Mitigating the Guilt of Self-Care
Self-care is often misconstrued as selfish because it involves prioritizing personal needs. However, it’s essential to differentiate between self-centeredness and self-care. Selfishness is driven by a disregard for others’ well-being, whereas self-care is about fostering a healthy relationship with oneself, enabling individuals to be more giving and compassionate towards others.
The guilt associated with self-care often stems from societal expectations or personal beliefs that prioritize the needs of others over our own. Perhaps you were raised in an environment where saying “no” was strongly discouraged or perceived as being lazy or selfish. Perhaps you were taught to “give until you drop” or that giving of one’s time and effort was somehow equated to holiness. Some people have been taught that selflessness is a positive character trait. Something to aspire to. But all these teachings leave little to no room for healthy and holistic approaches to self-care.
I believed all of these things at one point or another and that mentality inevitably led to mental and emotional burnout and meltdowns. I constantly felt like I was failing those I cared about because I had to say “no” to certain things or because I would say yes and then not be able to keep my commitments. This led to so much guilt and confusion about what I was doing wrong and why everyone else seemed to have their lives together. To help mitigate this guilt, I’ve put together a short list of things to keep in mind when it comes to self-care.
- Recognize Your Worth: Acknowledge that you deserve to be cared for, just like anyone else in your life. Remember that taking care of yourself enables you to be a better version of yourself for others.
- Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries in personal and professional relationships. Learning to say no when necessary is vital for preserving your well-being.
- Reframe Your Perspective: Understand that self-care is an investment in your physical and mental health, which ultimately benefits everyone around you.
- Have Patience: Making a change in your life, even a positive one such as instituting self-care practices takes time and affects more people than you might realize. There may be setbacks just as there are with any new habit. The trick is to keep trying.
- Be Prepared for Pushback: Prioritizing self-care can set you apart as a positive role model, but on the other hand, there may be people in your life who don’t appreciate the new you that sets healthy boundaries and says no to certain things.
Practical Tips for Incorporating Self-Care into Your Life
Starting a self-care routine can seem excessive and daunting just like starting any new habit such as eating healthy, going to the gym, or quitting a mal-adaptive pattern. But there are a few things that you can do to set yourself up for success. Remember, it’s about maintaining your health and protecting your well-being. With that in mind, here are a few helpful tips for getting started.
- Create a Routine: Schedule regular self-care activities into your daily or weekly routine to make them a habit.
- Start Small: Incorporate simple self-care practices like mindful breathing, short walks, or journaling during breaks in your day.
- Engage in Hobbies: Dedicate time to hobbies or activities you enjoy, as they provide a sense of fulfillment and relaxation.
- Unplug and Reconnect: Take breaks from technology and spend quality time with loved ones, fostering emotional connections.
- Prioritize Rest: Ensure you get enough sleep each night to allow your body and mind to rejuvenate.
Embracing self-care is not a sign of selfishness; rather, it is a profound act of self-love and self-respect. Prioritizing your well-being through self-care practices positively impacts your mental, emotional, and physical health, allowing you to lead a more fulfilling and balanced life. By addressing the associated guilt and understanding the true essence of self-care, you can begin to integrate it into your daily routine, empowering yourself to navigate life’s challenges with greater resilience and joy. Remember, taking care of yourself is not only beneficial for you but also for the people and responsibilities you care about. With a little self-care in your life, you can live better.
