I didn’t start a band because I didn’t want people thinking I start a band because I want to be adored by girls
I read the article above, and it reminded me of my younger days. I don’t clearly remember that but in every aspect of the decision, I cared a lot what the people think about me.
In my speech club, I often heard these kinds of speech when he (stories of this sort are told mainly by males) was a kid, he started something, because he wants to be adored by girls. One of them said he started “Rubik Cube” because he wanted to be loved by a girl. There must have been more efficient way, I thought..
Anyway, Whenever I heard that kind of stories, I wish I had been the speakers because they didn’t care about what did they look and be looked by others. I, on the contrary, always worried how was my action viewed by others.
For a long time, I hated such kind of weakness of my feeling. However, from a different point of view, I had the tendency of social phobia. I’m not such a severe social phobia, so I didn’t have the chance to meet counselors but I guess I should have.
Why did I have these worries about people’s eyes? I have no answer, but it was my native or acquired character, indeed. This character itself is not good or bad. I could just accept it and after that, I could change whatever I want.