What I Learned From Selling My BMW for $700
After I graduated college I moved to California. It took about 6 weeks for the process to be complete, including finding an apartment. Looking back, it was an over-enthusiastic move. My girlfriend and I were babies in my mind. Both 22 fresh out of college and plummeting into the real world. My first year in LA was a mixture of glory and struggle. I had extremely low moments, most pertaining to money and my personal value.
I worked with a failing start-up but it was my first time getting paid to create. The leadership we had was full of lies, deceit, and disorganization. The core people of our start-up were genuinely good people who wanted to create. At the end of 2018, just when things were starting to go up, I had another financial crisis.
This is not a boo-hoo story but another opportunity to be vulnerable with the world, but specifically young Black men. In my crisis, I felt alone, stupid, and in shambles. After many months of senior leadership lying to our investors about the return on profit, they backed out. Pulling all the equipment, the capital, and the weekly catered food 😭. The leaders running the start-up edged us to stay and work for free. But that could not happen. Months before this happened I humbly started a job at Anthropology because I was already helping them (the start-up)out for free and my side gigs were dry. When they found out that I had another job and my time was not as invested in their business; they collectively begged me to stay and offered to pay me what I would make at Anthro ( I said yes like an idiot lol 🥴). So when the investors backed out and there was no money, I was SOL. I thought I would at least have another month to figure things out with my last check. When I arrived at the studio to collect the last check I was greeted with an empty hand. The hood in me was screaming just beat this dude up. I was angry but I knew violence would not solve my problem of not having money. If anything getting arrested would have exacerbated that issue. I communicated a deal in which I would be paid overtime (which never happened — I got ghosted). It was December, I had basically no money beyond what I needed for groceries and travel. Rent was around the corner and I did the unthinkable. It breaks my heart writing this but it was an extremely humbling situation.
The holiday season is extremely slow on freelance projects, most people are winding down with the family. I had no gigs lined up and I did not have the awareness to network my ass off in the city. I refused to get put out after not spending a year in LA. In my eyes, I would be a total failure. I sold my car to CarMax. A 2005 BMW 325i for $700 🤦🏾♂️. I couldn’t get it to pass the smog inspection. Plus I didn’t have the money to ship it back east so I could at least renew the tags and drive Uber. The worst of my habits and lack of awareness caught up to me. I got the $700 and I immediately set it aside for rent. This gave me another month to figure things out but now I had no car. On the walk to the train station home, I was torn between relief and deep sadness. This was my dream car that I sold for just $700.
In hindsight, I should have asked for help from my family. It wouldn’t have taught me the painful lesson of being reliant on one stream of income. But it would have given me the time to make a better decision. I let my ego and sense of not being a failure deepen the hole I was in. For any adult that experiences financial loss be open to sharing this information with people you trust. It doesn’t mean that you will get saved but it can ensure you are making a decision that can actually move you forward.
To my young Black men reading this, know that your value is not based on your finances. As a 22-year-old at that time, I was in shambles. I developed a lot of negative self-talk following this incident. I honestly contemplated suicide because I was that embarrassed by my situation. Within a few weeks after putting up for December’s rent I found a job that would help me temporarily stabilize my income. It sucked but it was a step forward. I knew that better was on the horizon and I started working on various side hustles to create a second income. I thought this was the last of my financial disasters because of how much pain I experienced. Boy was I wrong LMFAO 😂😭.
This piece was meant to provide transparency and hope for those having financial struggles. I felt extremely alone during that time of my life and I don’t want anyone else to feel that way. We are human, we make mistakes and finances are just a skill to learn. I’ll continue this saga in another Medium post but for now, peace and love 🤎🖤.
