An Excerpt from Never on Sundays: A Novel by Jason M. Steffens
Chapter 1
Never on Sundays is the debut novel from a man who left his law practice to become reacquainted with his wife and children. The following excerpt is chapter 1 of the book. It introduces Will, a lawyer, contemplating a change in path for his own family. It is set ten days before chapter 2. The subsequent chapters tell the story—among others—of how Will arrived to his point. The title of the book comes from the decision of one of the other main characters to no longer play professional baseball on Sundays. Will’s path eventually crosses the baseball player’s.
Will walked out to his garage, pushed the button to open the garage door, and placed his laptop computer in the back seat of his car. He looked at the handle that would open the driver’s side front door. He turned his head and walked outside.
It was a Thursday morning in March. The grass was wet with dew. But for the chirping of birds, it was quiet. Most of the people who lived on his street were awake, but there was yet little sign of movement. Will could see a trace of his breath, though it was not so cold he needed more than his suit for what he had intended to do, which was drive the ten minutes to his downtown office. Intentions are sometimes disguises for inertia, he thought. Would he have intended to drive to his office and sit at his desk churning out pleadings, motions, briefs, and endless emails if that was not what he had always done for the past twelve years? If there had been no inertia, what would he have intended to do today?
The position he held defined him. No one could claim he was well-rounded. He read books and everyone thought he had a nice family. Centrally, though, he was a lawyer.
He was good at what he did and compensated well, but there was little chance he would ever be materially rich or a legal star. Not that he sought those things. He didn’t, though he liked the things money could buy as much as most people did. He was a lawyer because he went to law school, and he went to law school because he did not know what else to do with his history degree, and he had a history degree because … well, the Battle of Agincourt, George Washington, and the sinking of the Titanic were more interesting to him than the reflection of light, the periodic table, or from which ventricle the aorta originates.
He had a degree in anything mostly because he fell in love with Ashley as a junior in high school and followed her to college. She was the high-achieving, A-student. Two years after Ashley obtained her graduate degree, she quit the full-time out-of-home workforce to be a full-time mom, working her old job just enough to maintain her professional license. Will provided the main income, pretending like what he did was the important, stressful stuff. He knew better.
Thus, the fame, such as it was, came by accident, it seemed, and lasted briefly. Two cases, one leading to the other even though they were unrelated, changed everything. He was a mid-level partner at a Cedar Rapids law firm, unknown outside of the eastern Iowa civil litigation world in which he practiced. His cases had never warranted a mention in The Gazette, the Cedar Rapids-based newspaper. Three days ago his name appeared in the national news and the next morning’s USA Today.
Because of his client’s decision, that was now over. More importantly, the cases—or rather the people he met in them—caused him to awaken out of the existence into which he had fallen and led his family. The question now was whether his awakening would result in a new course. It is so easy to have our eyes opened, but then close them again, pretend it never happened, and go back to doing what has always been done.
It would be wrong to say he could not keep doing what he had always done. That path was still open to him. It was the easiest one. No one would question him if he stayed on it. But what had happened over the past nine days, and especially last night, showed Will there was a different way.
If there was going to be a change, he felt he had to resolve to make the change now if he would ever make it.
What almost stopped him was the unpredictability that would result. He thought he knew the end of his current path. He had no idea where a new path would take him. That might have been fine if he were alone. He could face unknowns if he was not responsible for providing for a wife and three children. He did not know how his family would take uncertainty when all they had ever known was certainty.
Certainty is a comfort. And a hindrance.
Will resolved that his family would have to embrace uncertainty. The alternative was insufficient. His mind was determined. He had to make his body move.
Standing in the crisp air, he inhaled and exhaled a few more times, staring at his breath. Without further hesitation, but with a pounding heart, he turned, walked back to the door between his kitchen and his garage, and rotated the door knob.
Inside, Ashley stood at the kitchen sink rinsing a frying pan. The three children—Allie (10 years old), Andy (7), and Adam (5)—sat around the kitchen table eating a breakfast of eggs and toast. When Will walked in, Ashley did not look up. It was not unusual for her husband to have forgotten his keys, wallet, or cell phone. She was likely hoping to finish cleaning the kitchen before driving Allie and Andy to school. Allie, on the other hand, immediately looked up and exclaimed, “What did you forget!?”
Will smiled and responded, “Actually, nothing. There is something I would like to talk to you all about.”
Ashley’s head now turned. His children stared at him. Will was thankful his family was still interested enough in him to stop what they were doing if he had something important to say.
He sat down and began. “I’m sorry.” Ashley and their three children continued to stare at him with increasingly apprehensive looks. Will went on, worrying that their apprehension was only going to increase. “I feel that I have failed you as a husband and a dad. No, I don’t just feel it. I know I have. I have provided for your physical needs. I have worked hard and made good money to give you food, shelter, and clothing, plus most of our wants. But I have not provided for you in any other way. I have given you a good house without giving you a good home. I have not paid attention to you. I have not listened when you talked to me. I do not know how I got to this point. I mean, I can look back and see the path. But I cannot say that I chose it when we started out. It just sort of happened, though only because I allowed it. I think I know the direction we need to head, though I cannot tell you exactly what it looks like or where we end up. I just know I no longer want to be absent when I am here. I want a better marriage.”
He looked at his kids. “I want to be a better father. I didn’t take you sledding this winter. I want to take you sledding and do lots of other things with you.”
He looked back at Ashley. “To do this—to be what God wants me to be—I need to leave the law firm. Maybe I need to start my own practice, one that looks a lot different than the one I have now, or maybe I need to find a completely different career. I want to stop loving the money and the things we can buy with money. I want to love you. I always have, but too often only with words. I feel like I have forgotten, or perhaps never knew, what it is to be a good husband and a good father. I have identified my life with my job and allowed you to do the same. I am no longer going to do that.”
Ashley’s eyes were fixed on Will. “Is all this because of what has happened the past few days?” she asked.
“Yes,” Will answered. “And because of what happened last night.”
“What happened last night?”
Will told them. They all listened without interruption. He then asked his family, “Will you trust me? Will you allow me to make this change? Will you go down this new path?”
Will stared at his wife as he asked these last questions. His children continued in silence, staring with some bewilderment at their dad. Other than knowing he was a “lawyer,” they had no idea what their dad did for a living. They only knew it was “important,” he was gone a lot, and when he was home he usually needed to work in his home office. They now saw their dad’s eyes fixed on their mother. They turned to look at her, undoubtedly wondering what she would think of these strange things he was saying. As they did so, a tear rolled down from Ashley’s left eye and she smiled. She got up from her chair, walked over to Will, leaned down, and kissed him. Another tear dropped from her right eye onto Will’s cheek. She then hugged him and said in a soft voice, “Yes. We don’t need your job. We need you. We love you and we will support you. But are you sure? I didn’t think you would ever do this. I thought our not having you was just how things would always be.”
“Yes,” replied Will. “I am sure. And if I do not make this decision now I do not think I ever will. So I am making it now.”
“Will this mean you can play with us more?” asked Andy. “Will you fix your bike and go bike riding with me?”
Will laughed. “It means many things, one of which is I will be spending more time with you, including going on bike rides.”
Ashley looked like a weight had been lifted off her. Will smiled at her and continued, “It will take me a little while to extract myself. I need to go to the office now, but this is real.” He then looked at his children. “I will be back home tonight, and we will most definitely play.”
Will kissed and hugged his wife and his three children. He then drove to what would soon be his former office, to what would soon be his former life.
Copyright 2013 Jason M. Steffens. All rights reserved.
Never on Sundays is available for purchase as a paperback and in all the major ebook stores.