Dear Daddy I Was Angry Because You Can’t Fix This

I’ve finally stopped projecting blame on to my parents

I rang my mother and she said come home where we can look after you – she had no grievances against me – it’s me that rants and rages. At my age, she had 5 children and post-natal depression and my dad was always at work…she single-handedly had to raise us with her own demons and lack of support.

Dad’s busy so I texted and I apologised…he was able to fix everything for me like literally everything when I was young.

I remember when I was 11, I didn’t like a teacher at school (and thought she didn’t like me) and at parents evening he told her a white lie that she’s my favourite teacher and came home and told me that I’m her favourite student…and suddenly I enjoyed that class/lesson.

Growing up my dad has never ever said no to anything I’ve ever wanted but I’ve never wanted anything as I had everything (at the age of 13 I slept on. a duck goose duvet £200 (todays value £375), we lived in the best neighbourhood and so on etc – because he worked so hard. I used to get confused that children had to wait for Birthdays or Christmas/Eid to get things rather than just ask nicely and wait till Saturday.

He taught us never to chase money, it’s like chasing a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow..and you’ll never have enough, just pray for luxury and comfort and money is like monopoly; it’ll come to you – that belief has led me to live this lifestyle rather than being in the 9–5 rat race.

He has never questioned my unconventional lifestyle and to this day, he still opens all my letters/admin (it started when I went away from uni at 18) and does my tax returns (despite me being an accountant)

It was his 70th Birthday a few weeks ago, and he’s such a LEGEND – he still works full time (he doesn’t need to), goes to Body Pump/HIIT and last time I was home he told me he wanted to learn AI – every time I’m home he’s so keen to learn a Vlookup or Pivot Table.

I’m so proud of both of him and everything he’s achieved (which he couldn’t have done if my mum wasn’t raising us) and I miss him and my mum and I can’t wait to go home so he can buy me Chinese and Jalebi and we can binge watch National Geo and my mother says ‘what about the chicken briyani I made’ and trying to explain what a mid life crisis is to her 🤣.

I WANT TO BE WITH MY PARENTS, I WANT TO GO BACK TO THESE HAPPY MOMENTS!

I’m tired of ranting and raging and it’s time for LOVE, love for myself, and love for my family and more importantly getting out of Serbia!