I Wrote 25,000 Words in a week
The journey of healing of writing a book about my trauma
It was the midlife crisis that prompted my life is meaningless unless I give myself the voice that was neglected.
The divine spark and the universe were on my side, I found a wonderful co working place (offering free drinks and cookies) and they had a special offer on and the set and settings were right.
I’m not writing to be rich, I’m not writing to be famous, I’m writing to finally have a voice that was suppressed and dismissed for decades by my parents.
It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I do have to take Xanax at lunchtime or when it comes to writing about the traumatic times, I have to relive them all over again but I know this is the only way I will heal, after trying all the other methods, meditation , journalling…not to mention the amount I’ve spent on psychotherapy — I’d love to see the new kitchen extension of the therapist based on the money I’ve paid him…jokes aside he has helped but my intuition says it’s writing a book about the invisible girl and how her feelings mattered that will ultimately heal me.
I’ve learned so much in one week about writing, methapors and expressive description aren’t necessary…fundamentally two things are required being authentic, purpose and reprogramming that part of your brain that says ‘you’re not good enough’ my biggest strength and the success of my book will be my vulnerability and explicitly talking about my addictions and not filtering out areas of my life that I was once ‘ashamed of’.
My voice was suppressed, my feelings dismissed and anytime I doubt myself, I look at Fifi (my inner child) and myself and how if my parents don’t want to validate my feelings mattered…I want the world to know not just mine but everyone’s feelings matter..
The most wonderful feeling is not having to no longer be an imposter and choose Mword over Excel.
It’s intense, it’s difficult but it’s so rewarding to finally having the self esteem and courage for the passions in my head to be penned.
