Satire / Humor
Mrs. Quilt’s Clever Ploy to Survive the Cost of Living Crisis
Warning — If you are a sane person, you may not want to read this!
Mrs. Quilt is facing a dilemma.
With the cost of living crisis and the amount of food she has to purchase for her household, she has to do something. Her landlord has increased her rent by $550.
It is now a staggering $2,000 per month, making it 50% higher than her net salary. Ideally, one should aim to spend no more than 30% of their net salary on rent. This increase means she can no longer go on her regular shopping sprees.
Quilt has been tragically forced to consume her bland coffee and sandwiches, a distressing turn of events. She dreams longingly of the days of frequent lattes and a bacon roll!
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Having attempted to make a sandwich, she was quite distressed after realizing that she was out of the key ingredient: bread. So, in her devastated state of mind, she gave in and ran to the local cafe to purchase a sandwich. On the way, she did pass the local supermarket but declined to go in for the bread.
I mean, if I’m out, I may as well treat myself, she thought. $50 for a bacon roll or $2 for a loaf of bread? Nah, the $50 bacon roll wins. Sometimes you just have to think of your sanity.
Anyway, she has a clever ploy. In a bid to get back the money spent on the $50 sandwich, she has requested that relatives bring their own toilet rolls to her home. Plus, they should eat before they come and, if kind enough, bring her a bite to eat as well.
If they do attend during the winter months, they must don appropriate winter wear as she will not be turning the heating on. Chuck on a few more jumpers before leaving the house. Or don’t bother to come!
What do you think? Should you go to the gym or exercise in bed?
