Member-only story
My Father Was Raped by Catholic Priests but That May Not Be the Worst Thing That Happened to Him
The effects of generational trauma on a family
They say to tell your story, you have to begin with your ancestors' stories first. By telling my father’s story, I hope to understand my own more fully.
I have just one photo of my father as a child. I marvel that this photo exists. One photo to represent an entire childhood seems tragic in and of itself, but my father’s story is tragic.
My father was an orphan, well, not technically an orphan — both his parents were alive — but he was raised in orphanages and foster homes where he was mistreated, ignored, and sexually abused.
Because of the trauma he suffered at an early age, my father was a broken man who found it difficult to express emotion. I had a hard time getting to know him; he had a hard time showing love. I knew little about his childhood. Had I known what this one picture represented, I believe our relationship would have been different.
I know now that he loved me and his ways were not a reflection of his lack of affection for me. His ways were a little boy trapped in a grown man’s body trying to deal with the pain of loss, abandonment, shame, and abuse.
