Member-only story
The Idiot’s Guide to Using Substack
I guarantee you will get results!
This first appeared on Substack on April 19, 2025. I post two free humor/satire articles a week. If this didn’t completely suck, $5 a month helps me keep writing them.
Trying to figure out Substack isn’t easy. You only have about 3,086 ways to customize your newsletter.
Seriously, it’s like playing the ultimate game of hide-and-seek.
Luckily, you’ve stumbled across my newsletter, and I’m here to help you become the next Substack superstar. I know I’ve only been here for less than three months, but I’m a quick learner. (At least I think so.)
I’m already a five-figure earner if you include cents, and nothing makes me happier than to share my ultimate wisdom with other struggling, I mean aspiring writers. I promise you won’t have any regrets after reading this article.
Okay, I’ve rattled on enough. Let’s get to the good stuff.
Spam Like Your Rent Depends on It
I know we all want to write, but you must learn how to market yourself.
Who has time to wait for others to randomly discover your newsletter? The easiest way to get more eyes on your content is to spam links to your articles as often as possible.
