Member-only story
What No One Tells You About Being #82 in Humor
The fame. The pressure. The leaderboard no one checks.
You think you want this life. You think hitting #82 on the Rising Humor Leaderboard will fix you.
That the void will close, the sun will shine again, and people will start returning your texts.
But success has a dark side. And I’ve seen it.
I didn’t ask for this. I just wanted to make a few jokes and hope five strangers thought I was clever. Now I’m known. Mildly. On one specific leaderboard. By probably no one, because no one checks it unless they’re on it.
Still. The weight is crushing.
Refreshing My Subscriber Count Is a Full-time Job
Before I hit #82, mornings were calm. I fell out of bed, made stale coffee, and stared at the wall. Oh yes, and mistook 41 cents from Medium for momentum.
Now I wake up in a cold sweat and check the leaderboard before I even stand up.
If I drop to #83, I panic. If I stay at #82, I still panic.
There’s no peace. Only mild, self-imposed competition with writers I’ve never met who probably don’t even know they’re part of this psychodrama.
