When a Person Reminds You of Someone You Dislike, What Do You Do?
Dealing with Unexpected Feelings. This is a look at Transference in Everyday Life.
Have you ever met anyone and instantly taken a dislike to them? This is weird.
How can you dislike someone you do not know? And surely this is not a good thing to do!
But sometimes, there is that person. Something about them reminds you of someone or something that someone did.
Instantly, you cannot see how you will be friends with them.
In psychology, they call it transference. I presume that means you transfer your feelings from one person to another person!
Well, this is what happened to me.
My friend and I were walking down the supermarket aisle. I was just looking at the item I needed and not really paying attention to what was going on around me.
From out of nowhere, a lady rammed her trolley cart into the side of me. It was hard enough to move me from my spot. I stumbled a bit and then gained my composure.
When I looked up, the lady was standing by me, apologizing and asking if I was okay. I was okay, but I was annoyed as she was so engrossed in looking at the items on the shelf she just pushed her trolley into me.
I said to her that it was not a problem. I was not injured, more irritated by her lack of care. Plus, I did not dislike her, as I do not know her. But at that moment — she was not my favourite person!
A few days later, I attended a lecture at University.
As I took my seat in the stalls, I could not believe it. There was the lady from the supermarket! I could feel the annoyance from that day coming back.
Immediately I stiffened, but when I looked closer, I realized it was not her. I'm not sure why this made me anxious.
It is absurd as she has nothing to do with the incident, but to begin with, I was a little weary of her. But then had to just snap out of it as even if it was her, that incident was over.
But is it not strange the way that I reacted?
So now I understand why some people say they do not want to have a relationship with someone who reminds them of an ex-partner, particularly if the relationship did not end well.
In time, I stopped associating that lecture with the incident in the supermarket. But it shows how fragile the mind is, and how certain situations and people can trigger certain emotions.
I suppose the only way to handle such situations is to know that they exist. Certain people may remind you of a person.
They may not even look like that person, they may just have the same mannerisms. But at the end of the day, it is not them!
Has this happened to you?
