President Trump to Censor Video Game, Book, & Movie Content
…Following White House Chief-Strategist Steve Bannon’s Discovery That Nazis Portrayed Negatively In Popular Culture (Satire)
Washington D.C. — President Trump has passed new regulations today censoring the content of video games, books, and movies. This new imperial decree directly follows Trump’s being upset last week, after Sean Spicer’s misstep in forgetting to invite CNN and the New York Times to Trump’s birthday party and the subsequent leveling of VERY unfair accusations of media censorship against the administration.
Now, in this new wave of rules, no form of media will be allowed to perpetuate the “grossly unfair” representation of Fuhrer Hitler’s thriving administration of the 1930’s and 40’s. This comes after Senior Adviser Bannon played Call of Duty: World at War for the first time earlier this month.
“He was very upset, just inconsolable,” stated Spicer in this morning’s press conference/shouting match. “He finished the game in tears, especially after having to play a part in the final assault on Berlin.” When asked for a comment, Bannon broke down again, “Stalingrad was the greatest triumph of Herr Hitler’s glorious 3rd Reich. The fact that Treyarch and the COD developers portrayed it as an atrocity, as a bad thing? That’s just incomprehensible, and frankly offensive.” Bannon promptly rendered a Hitlergrub and left the room amidst shouts of “Heil mein Fuhrer!” and “Seig Heil!” from his staffers.
In his television appearance this morning, Donald Trump explained the regulation in greater depth: “Everyone, this a great law, the best. Seriously folks, the experts all have read it and agree. Daddy Bannon, I mean Fuhrer Steve, I mean, the Senior Adviser really pushed for this law. No more desecrating the good Nazi name. He was- Hey! Who let the Huffington Post in here? Gestapo, take them out of here!” When questions were raised about the practicality of making a law every time Bannon’s feelings are hurt, Trump brushed the question aside, saying only, “Happy wife, happy life, amirite?” The press conference was promptly ended when a chubby, shadowy figure appeared to summon Trump from a back room.
This is Satire. If You Really Needed This Footer and The Subtitle to Tell You That, I Hope You Didn’t Vote.