In Between Mother & Crone
I’m 40 and by this time next week, I’ll be hanging with Menopause.
I’ve previously written about my many biopsies of my various lady parts and my recent genetic counseling revealing a diagnosis of Lynch Syndrome:
Lynch Syndrome is a genetic condition that increases my risk of certain types of cancers: including colorectal, endometrial, gastrointestinal, bladder, and urinary tract, and more rarely: brain and skin.
It comes from my mom’s side of the family and is related to a DNA mismatch repair gene. In my case, that gene is MSH6.
This discovery started this past summer when my Aunt (my mother’s identical twin) underwent surgery for ureter cancer (the tube between the bladder and kidney). She’d previously had a hysterectomy several years earlier for endometrial cancer. As part of the treatment, she’d gotten genetic cancer testing, and the doctor gave her a letter to give all blood relatives so that they could also get the genetic counseling.
My mother, being her identical twin, obviously has the gene as well, though she’s not had any issues with cancer thus far. After her genetic counseling experience, my mother opted for a preventative hysterectomy in August.
Part of genetic counseling involves looking for patterns and evidence in my family. We found it. My other aunt (my mom’s older sister) has had a few bouts of reproductive cancer and already had a hysterectomy. My uncle died of testicular cancer in 1979 (he was also a Vietnam vet, so cue additional environmental factors). My great-grandmother had ovarian cancer, surviving treatment, and dying later in her 90s.
My grandmother is who I remember battling with the worst of Lynch Syndrome. We were very close. She was retired in my childhood and she decided she’d be the ultimate grandma. My grandma was an artist and craftsman. She’d fostered my creative side from an early age.
She always had fudge swirl ice cream, chocolate syrup and rainbow sprinkles. She made chocolate chip cookies from scratch and handed down a special Christmas cookie recipe that everyone still marvels over. She raised an amazing garden and somehow convinced wild squirrels to take peanuts from her hands off the back porch. She was magic. She first fought off endometrial cancer in her 50s. She later died of gastrointestinal cancer when I was 17, and it was brutal.
Lynch syndrome doesn’t skip generations so chances of getting it are 50/50 at minimum. I have seven first cousins on my mother’s side. Of all of us, I am the only one who inherited the MSH6 gene. Everyone was all shocked — except me.
I’ve been dealing with all the weird health shit, generationally speaking, head-on, one way or another, for most of my life. Thanks to that, I’m already way ahead on the health and self-care routine. My healthcare is a magical mashup of new, old, east, west, mental, physical, spiritual — the works.
Screenings for gastrointestinal cancers and skin cancers are already underway. I’ve previously written about this during my experience with Lichen Sclerosis.
Yearly colonoscopies and endoscopies every other year are nothing new. I’ve been dealing with Crohn’s disease since my late twenties, so I’m used to those — as much as one can get used to swallowing tubes and whatnot — and not in the fun way.
I’ve consulted my naturopath, functional medicine specialist, nutritionist and oracle for preventative measures.
I was also offered a rather large preventative measure by my GYN. Most of these cancers strike in the reproductive system first before coming back elsewhere. That’s obvious even in my own family.
So, I was offered a preventative total hysterectomy — including the ovaries, completely funded by the VA. I can’t get cancer in organs that aren’t there, can I?
What are the drawbacks? Some down time. A laparoscopic surgery. An overnight in the VA Hospital. The usual surgery-related risks of course.
The biggest side effect in my case:
I will be leaving the hospital with a hormone patch, in complete and total menopause at the age of 40.
In 2018, I started receiving messages from the universe in many forms — tea leaves, hurricanes, migraines, and spirits, to name a few of the messengers. They all were telling me the same thing: Fix Your Health.
I went to a tarot card reader towards the end of 2018 who laid it out for me:
“The universe will not give you anymore information until you take care of your health.”
I got the strong sense that if I didn’t listen, I wasn’t going to make it out alive this time.
I listened. I have just spent the last 5 years fixing my health. I have changed every single aspect of my entire life since 2018. I feel better than I ever have in my adult life. I have walked through healing to recover the fractures of my soul and I sit with my grief over tea and chocolates. I am finally healthy enough.
I willingly offer up my womb. The power it possesses goes beyond the body parts and I’ve completed my work in the physical world with it. I was able to bring one miracle, rainbow baby into the world (after many miscarriages) and she is a thriving, magical, 10-year-old on her own mission.
So yeah — I am 40 years old. On Monday, I am having a laparoscopic total hysterectomy and leaving the hospital with a hormone patch the next day.
By this time next week, I’ll be hanging out with my new bestie, Menopause.
I’m not sure exactly what that will feel like. I do think there is something else here waiting for me to become. I’ve been the maiden and the mother. I’m not yet a crone.
Between the Mother and the Crone there is a Queen. A Priestess. An Empress. Waiting for me to see her in the mirror and embrace her. To own my throne and be fully in my power.
It comes with fire - and perhaps hot flashes?
I’ll let you know next week.
— — -
Tits up,
💜 TS WILD
Follow my Instagram and stuff here: https://linktr.ee/tswild
I’m working on a book about my Healish Shit and my journey through HEAL.
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Here’s an article on Lynch Syndrome
Useful books while waiting for my book:
Side note, if you wanna keep your tata skin, vulva skin, and your skin beyond healthy — I love Momotaro Apotheca products.
(Check out their blog articles on proper post-sex aftercare for the vulva and beyond) Use my Momotaro Link and Discount Code: TRISHSWILD when you shop! The body oil and tonic is fabulous.*
