What If I Quit Asking What If
And focus on what is?
I used to wonder what if…
What if horses could fly; what if trees could talk; what if pixie dust existed; what if elephants had candy canes for tusks; what if frogs didn’t bump their butt when they hop? Very philosophical. I know.
Those were childhood what-ifs.
The Adolescent Years
In my junior high years, I became interested in more important what-ifs. For instance, what if this pimple doesn’t go away; what if I have food in my braces when I smile; what if I don’t turn in my project; what if I never get a boyfriend; what if Mom has cancer?
After that came my teen years.
What if Mom never gets well; what if I do what I want; what if I don’t follow the rules; what if my parents catch me; what if I don’t care; what if he likes me; what if there is a God; what if there is a hell?
The Adult Years
Then my twenties. What if I go to college; what if I work full-time; what if he’s the one; what if I elope; what if I’m a terrible wife; what if he did the unthinkable; what if I believe in God; what if God calls me; what if I’m not enough?
My thirties were full of what-ifs, too.
What if I can’t get back to my pre-pregnancy weight; what if I’m a terrible mother; what if my husband is deployed; what if we divorce; what if God tests me; what if I go back to school; what if I fail?
And presently, my forties…
What if I’ve done the unforgivable; what if we move; what if I have cancer; what if my kids hate me; what if life gets harder; what if I’ve failed; what if he; what if she; what if we; what if they…
What if this is all there is?
The what-if game is constantly playing in my brain. I can’t tell you how many sleepless nights and countless hours I spend wondering what-if.
What if I Quit?
But what if I quit? That’s right. What if I quit asking “what if?” And what if I substitute “what-if” with something like “what is?”
So I tried it. It took a few days to retrain my brain. Nevertheless, here is what happened when I replaced “what-if” with “what is”:
“What if I get sick,” was replaced by “Today I feel great.”
“What if I’m not good enough,” evolved into, “I’m getting better every day.”
“Tomorrow is still on the horizon,” replaced “What if tomorrow is worse?”
“What if he does that again” was dismissed with “He is doing so well.”
“I am ok no matter what they think” took the place of “What if they think I’m an idiot?”
Ultimately, I became less depressed. I danced more. Breathing was comfortable. I sang more. Praying was easier. I was present for my family. New things were less exhausting. I gave extra because I had more to give.
Basically, I was less anxious because I was so busy being thankful.
“What-if” vs. Reality
I’m under no illusions. There will be days when “what is” will be gloomy. And yet, focusing on what is continues to be a nice reprieve from the anxiety of “what if.”
After all, “what is” will always be more useful than fear.
So what about you? What if you quit, too?
