Influence and Bias: Thoughts became long because of the long school name on my CV

Nicely left-aligned

I was staring at my CV, trying to position my university name when I realized that I had wasted quite a lot of time for nothing. In the end, I left-aligned it. It looked neat. I‘ve tried different options — using its original name separated into two lines, and its abbreviation — but nothing worked better than the left alignment.

I moved on to the next section after left aligning the university name but something still bothered me. So, I scrolled up and down. At a random point, I got goosebumps. I couldn’t believe many years of my life is shortened into one word. Something didn’t feel right. I’ve always thought of myself as someone who strives to pursue diverse experiences, but looking back, I did spend 8 years of my life in the same place. It’s too late to make a change now. I’ve already graduated as a pure-blood from my university.

Bias was my trophy

It was tough to accept that I was biased. By all means, I’ve never thought I was putting myself into a corner for the last few years. It was the opposite. I’ve always thought that time is directing me to the right path. My thoughts remain the same as I stepped out of the campus — I’m on the right track. And then it struck me. I was biased. I am biased. How can I be so sure that the direction I’m going in is the right one? That unconditional belief is another name for bias.

Regardless of how hard I studied, I ended up staying in one place. Thanks to a little good comprehensiveness in me, I literally absorbed quite deeply everything in the place where I stayed — the department and the lab.

The more I dedicate myself to the department and the lab, the more firmly I was anchoring down onto them. A little diligence in me let me put my everything into them. I thought it was the honest way of studying design. Maybe it wasn’t because of my diligence but finding the easiest way to study something. I didn’t have to go out in the wild to find what to study. Most of people say focusing on campus life especially studying is a good thing.

Before I knew it, my design value was confined to that of the department and the lab.

Life is like a roller coaster

I thought I was on a roller coaster. It gets faster and slower but never stops. Surprisingly, I was thrilled rather than scared at high speed. That pleasure I felt when riding was taking me to a world of bias. There was the signal. Imagining myself on a roller coaster itself was the sign. I just took it as a positive sign.

Animals in the zoo lose their wildness. The more tamed they become, the more comfortable it is for them to live in a zoo. And those who don’t lose their innate instincts are seen as out of the norm. I’m in the same situation. My life on campus became more comfortable as I became the epitome of the department and the lab. Since I don’t face many conflicts with the department and the lab, I thought I’m going in the right direction. That’s why I enjoyed the roller coaster ride. But, moving implies direction. I was recklessly running down to nowhere. The destination was probably closer to the peripheral than the center.

The roller coaster ride ended with my graduation. That’s when I realized how far I had come.

Conclusion

“Because to influence a person is to give him one’s soul. He does not think his natural thoughts, or burn with his natural passions. His virtues are not real to him. His sins, if there are such things as sins, are borrowed. He becomes an echo of someone else’s music, an actor of a part that has not been written for him.”
(The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde)

If my thoughts and actions are inevitably a mixture of other people’s souls, there’s no such thing as my pure thought or action. Still, I can choose where to get influence.

Even if my life is in the grip of inevitable influence, I can decide where and how I will be affected. So, getting influenced by a diverse range of people is better than just a few. That way I won’t be distracted by specific people’s words. Diversifying my thoughts and actions is an additional sure thing.

Looking back on where my design value came from. Not so various. Just a few professors and colleagues from the department and the lab. Design ain’t them but I deemed as if they were all. Since they were the only sources of influence on me, I couldn’t go beyond their thoughts and value for design. I should not stay in an environment for so long. I should act like the people from Wall Street. Investing in various places to hedge uncertainties and risks.

The roller coaster just stopped but I got on the next faster roller coaster. Hope I can get the speed and direction of this roller coaster on my hand.

Before I knew it, I’m already on my next roller coaster ride. Although it is faster, I hope I can control the speed and direction of this one.