5 Ways to Stop Caring What Other People Think
by Dominique Samuels
Have you ever felt misunderstood in life? If you’re reading this, there’s a high chance that you have.
This may seem obvious, but the frustrating feeling of being misunderstood is borne out of the unconscious belief that you need to be understood by other people in order to be happy.
Hear me out for a sec.
I get it — we all want to have relationships where we feel heard and seen. But what if that’s simply not possible right now? What if the only person that can validate you, is yourself?
Crazy idea, I know. But employing this mindset is a sure way to unlock your potential and free yourself from limiting beliefs.
So hold your horses, because this article is going to give you 5 tips and tricks to help save you from the soul-destroying cycle of caring what other people think.
1. Affirmations
Affirmations serve as powerful tools to help change those negative subconscious thoughts. The most powerful effect of affirmations is that they can actually create new neural pathways in the brain, essentially rewiring your mind!
That means you can redirect your focus to more positive thoughts, replacing self-doubt and insecurity with confidence and gratitude.
So, say it out loud.
Right now. I mean it!
The only person that can validate me, is me!
See how amazing that feels? Consistently using affirmations like this can fundamentally change your life. I would recommend practicing your chosen affirmation in the morning and in the evening, with the right amount of repetition for you to start believing in what you are trying to affirm.
For example, you could start with repeating your affirmations 10 times in the morning and 10 times at night in front of the mirror for 3 weeks and then see the difference it makes!
2. Meditation
Meditation is a fantastic tool for supporting your journey towards self-belief, mainly because it provides the mental and emotional foundation necessary to build confidence, resilience and self-awareness.
This means that by incorporating at least 15 minutes of meditation in your daily life, you will inevitably become a calmer, less reactive person and thus less affected by the opinions of others.
Meditation doesn’t have to be all about sitting in awkward poses that hurt your knees — I promise!
It can be as simple as sitting upright in a chair (having good posture is so important if you don’t want to fall asleep!), with your feet firmly on the ground, simply observing your breath.
If concentration is a particular problem for you — a lot of people with ADHD for example, say they struggle to maintain focus when meditating at first — there are tons of guided meditations on YouTube that can help.
And what’s amazing about having meditation as part of your daily routine, is that after a while you will naturally crave more than your minimum 15 minutes. You’ll then eventually be able to do it for 30, 45, then 60, then more!
3. Journalling
In my own life, journalling has helped me immensely to stop caring so much about other people’s opinions. It gave me the opportunity to reflect on my thoughts, feelings and experiences in a safe and private space, with the knowledge that nobody would read what I had written.
By getting your deepest, darkest thoughts on paper, you can become more aware of why other people’s opinions hold power over you and develop a deeper understanding of yourself.
In doing this, you can more easily identify patterns and triggers related to seeking validation from others and the frustration that comes with not receiving that validation.
This awareness will then help you develop strategies for dealing with these patterns, but most importantly help you accept the parts of yourself that are more prone to insecurity.
But be aware: gaining this insight and perspective may shine a light on who you may have to set healthy boundaries with, or even have to remove from your life in order to become the best version of you.
The key is to be consistent and honest in your journalling practice. Start with writing down your thoughts every morning to get a clear idea of your thought patterns.
Lastly, practice journalling when your mind is occupied with heavy or negative thoughts. I can guarantee things won’t seem so bad once it’s all down on paper!
4. Shadow Work
Shadow work refers to the process of diving into the unconscious or hidden aspects of ourselves to explore and integrate our darkest version.
For example, you may care about what other people think because of a deep-rooted belief that you will never be good enough. Thus, you attract relationships that affirm this deep-rooted belief, which then triggers a painful cycle of seeking acceptance from others.
The good news is, it doesn’t have to be this way.
By confronting the parts of ourselves we are most ashamed of, we can begin to heal emotionally, cultivating compassion for both ourselves and others, which invites profound personal growth.
There are many ways to practice shadow work. Therapy and counselling with individuals that specialise in shadow work is a great way to do this, and one I’d recommend.
However, if you don’t have the means to do this, then no problem. Tips 2 and 3 tie into shadow work, mainly because they develop your inner dialogue.
But what particularly helped me was the practice of rituals and symbolism. Now, don’t be scared by the ‘R’ word! A ritual is simply a sequence of activities involving gestures, words, actions or revered objects.
This can involve creating art, using visualisation techniques, or engaging in ceremonies that symbolise transformation and growth.
For example, you could write down your biggest insecurity on a piece of paper, light a white candle and meditate on how you would feel having finally released this insecurity.
Then, set it alight in a fire-proof container or dish, to symbolise releasing it. Once you have safely set fire to this piece of paper, you can flush the remnants down the toilet or dispose of it somewhere outside, a good distance away from where you live.
Lastly, keep that feeling of having released your insecurity with you throughout your day. It may take a few tries for you to have fully released what you have chosen to let go of.
What you have to remember, is that these beliefs have likely accumulated over a period of years.
They won’t disappear overnight!
Thus, it is important is to trust and believe that you are making progress. Shadow work can be intense and confronting, so it is important to approach it with self-compassion and at a pace that feels comfortable for you.
5. Grounding
Grounding, also known as earthing, is my personal favourite. It is the practice of connecting oneself with the Earth’s soothing energy, allowing us to live in the present moment.
It is proven to reduce stress and anxiety, improve sleep through connecting with the Earth’s natural electromagnetic field, and can help stabilise emotions to create a sense of balance.
This is so important for not caring what other people think, because it can help you discharge excessive emotional energy, making it easier to manage emotional ups and downs.
Even better, it helps you anchor yourself in the here and now, fostering a greater sense of being present in your daily life, rather than being controlled by outside events.
‘When the basis of your actions is inner alignment with the present moment, your actions become empowered by life itself.’
— Eckhart Tolle
There are various ways to practice grounding, such as walking barefoot on the grass or sand (you will most certainly have to eliminate caring what other people think if you don’t have a garden!), lying on the ground, or simply practicing through meditation.
Experiment with different grounding techniques to find what works best for you, and incorporate them into your daily routine for maximum benefit!
The bottom line
Whilst these 5 tips and tricks will definitely help you on your journey, it is important to remember that the only person that can improve your life is you.
In order for you to stop caring what other people think, you must first believe there is a version of you out there that is free from seeking validation from others.
In other words, if you can believe it, you can achieve it.
Good luck!
