#No.1 Lesson I learned in a 12 year karmic relationship
Even when I was a prude, good girl type, top student in high school, I knew deep down I had an eye for the bad boys, the underdogs.
On our first date, the signs were there. He threw his bait with a compliment and a short conversation to make me feel special. And then nothing the rest of the night. I was left questioning myself, my worth, and his interest in me. Desperate for the attention and the validation.
Little did I know that my weaknesses were being played on and that I was an unknowing fish being reeled in.
It worked like a bomb. A few days later it was official, we were a couple and I was in for a twelve year roller-coaster ride.
It started out quite good at first. The playfulness, honeymoon phase, and though I felt fond of him and later started to feel love for him, I always wondered why I’m not in love with him and also realized I had actually NEVER been in love.
It was as if we had a magnetic pull. The more he hurt me, the more I tried to leave, the more I got sucked back in. I somehow always ended up right back where I had started. And it was no help, knowing that I was somewhat financially and emotionally dependent on him. So, I’m left feeling stuck.
The years that followed would bend me all sorts of ways, just…
