Ode to hate, greed, fear, and pride.
Because they are precious gifts in disguise.
I hate her so much.
She is pulling me down into negativity.
Stealing my energy, depleting me.
Manipulating me emotionally into submission.
Triggering me into destruction.
Labelling, shaming, blaming.
I feel like running away but I can’t.
Terrified of ending up alone, abandoned.
I can’t trust her, don’t feel safe.
And yet, I accept her abuse.
Out of guilt, out of shame.
I retreat, ignore, and deflect,
Avoiding to see the ruthless reality as it is
Trust is crumbling in the silence of resentment.
Protective stones are building walls of indifference.
Distance and hurt are keeping me outside in the cold.
Anger and sadness are blending into confused despair.
If she won’t fight, I won’t fight.
If she won’t love me, I won’t love her.
I won’t let her into my heart.
I won’t let her hurt me.
And yet, …
As patient black-smith of my mind, I start seeing through the veil.
Seeing my lower self.
The little, selfish, greedy, fearful, me.
Primitive and filled with destructive instincts.
I can see you now.
Welcome
I accept and recognize your need for growth.
You have been repressed, ignored, denied.
You have been shamed and blamed.
You have been source of guilt.
It is now time for you to be seen.
To be accepted, to be honoured.
I offer you kindness, beauty and truth.
Those are my peaceful medicines.
I choose to believe,
that your fear, your hurt, your pride,
your anger, your selfishness, your negativity,
are precious gifts to be unwrapped.
Gateways towards the creative power of your heart.
I offer you my presence, my protection, my being.
With a kind heart and soft gaze, I reach out to you in the cold.
I reach out to unite.
To heal our core wound of separation.
