The Beauty of Synchronicity
Synchronicities are often played out as unexplained moments as we go through daily life. For example; I could be thinking about my Dad, then the radio might play ‘Ring of Fire’, his favourite Johnny Cash song.
It certainly is a mysterious coincidence. In my Dad’s case, when it was followed by another of his favourites; the wonderful tones of Annie Lennox belting out ‘Sweet dreams are made of this’, synchronicity could well be at play. Dad passed in 2007.
Synchronicity is a term that was first introduced by psychiatrist & psychoanalyst, Carl Jung, in the early 1900s.
The concept was originally inspired to him by a patient, who one night dreamt of a golden scarab.
The next day, during the psychotherapy session, a large insect hit Jung’s cabinet window. Jung caught it and was surprised to see that it was, in fact, a golden scarab, very rare for that climate & began to question the significance.
The patient was suffering with depression; Jung did research on the golden scarab and its origins. He discovered it was a symbol of death and rebirth. From there he was able to dig deeper to the source of the issue. For Jung, the scarab had been a very useful guidance tool, and perhaps provide some valuable insight to the soul.
I love this analogy, and would like to use it to highlight and share an experience of my own.
My Mum bought a beautiful piece of jewellery in the early 1950s, when out with a friend browsing in Savona, Italy.
Mum was Italian. She moved to London in the late 1950s to learn our language. She became a nurse & was soon enjoying the London lifestyle. Her training took her to Maidstone, where she worked as a nurse in a historical psychiatric hospital. My love of psychology was born there, as I would often accompany her as a child and play games with the residents. Many had been hospitalised since the 1920s. I was saddened by this and also shocked to learn that a majority had been placed there due to depression in childhood.
Mum would wear this beautiful diamond ring that I was in awe of. I’ve never had an interest in material things, but the beauty of this ring was captivating to me.
Mum passed away 21st April 2020, aged 89, with Covid. She’d suffered severe depression for many years, and wanted to leave this life. I believe she saw an opportunity and took it.. as a resident in a care home she refused to stay in her room, she was aware of the risks and wanted to take them. She phoned me, telling me to think of my future.
Some of Mums jewellery was passed round the family, others were sold to pay bills, but this ring I chose to keep, for its beauty and sentimentality, but it told a much bigger story.
Mum and I had a long, turbulent relationship, often seeming full of emotional turmoil & regret. Although now I’ve learnt to embrace every experience in life and not regret anything.
Although Mum and myself were polar opposites; we disagreed on absolutely everything I can think of. However, the one thing we had in common was allowing ourselves to spiral repeatedly through huge waves of depression.
When depression enters our lives we allow it to pass down the psychological path to our children if we don’t heal ourselves.
Mums final year was a better one for both of us. As we spoke openly, she would cry tears full of emotion and expressed how sorry she was for all the pain she felt she had caused over the years, many due to family secrets I’d been made aware of in adulthood.
She asked for forgiveness, I gave it willingly. I forgave myself for allowing it to happen. What followed was a few months of wonderfully funny visits, she had began to laugh again. We’d go out for pizza, she’d have a glass of red wine and then topple out of her wheelchair, giggling, yet unhurt. However, anxiety did manifest itself again, as Dementia was unfortunately playing its part.
I felt that all these life experiences were valuable lessons, one that the ring would remind me of & keep me grounded.
A few weeks ago, I lost Mums ring. Feeling disappointed in myself, I started to worry and thought about taking on a frantic search. I stopped in my tracks, remembering that worry is a wasted emotion and would just bring anxiety back into my life. I didn’t want a trigger for any past depression that might still be lingering.
I told myself to leave it to synchronicity. Let it be. If it’s meant to be, it’ll turn up. In my quest for self awareness I had discovered the benefits of “staying present”, not filling my mind with what I should be doing, but allowing myself to breathe in the current moment, a most valuable life tool, in my opinion.
I put the ring to the back of my mind.
Last week, I stopped off to grab some fish and chips. Whilst waiting I popped into a shop and bought a scratch card. Nothing amazing about that, and I didn’t win any money, so that’s not what’s going on here!
I don’t do the lottery, or scratch cards. On this day I did, because of the number 33, a significant number for me, since childhood. I scratched off the three parts required. The words “ring” “safe” “wallet” stared back at me. Curious. I giggled as I tried picturing a wallet somewhere with mums ring in it. I wanted to drive home and frantically start looking, but then told myself that’s not how to stay “present”. I popped the scratch card in my bag and told myself to forget about it. I don’t think I was sceptical, I’ve learnt to trust my intuition, but I wanted to see what would play out. It can be a lot of fun, surrendering yourself to the synchronicity of life. It’s a positive experience and doesn’t do any harm, so long as you don’t overthink it and let your mind run amok! Time to breathe…
Last Sunday I go to grab a cardigan from a cupboard under the stairs. I spot an old bag of mine, it’s indigo, but for the first time I noticed a gold shimmer from it. I dragged it out, saw it was full of socks, wipes, empty lolly wrappers, hair bands, and lots of other strange things I’d accumulated.
I sat on the floor with the bag, and my dog (he’s never more than 3 feet from me). I got everything out on the floor, one by one. Admittedly I secretly hoped the missing ring would be in there, but I didn’t own a wallet so it didn’t seem feasible.
Everything was out on the floor.. I was feeling slight disappointment, although the hair bands and wipes were very useful, plus a lipstick and some odd socks.
Having started to pack away I saw an old fashioned, silver shimmering, draw string wallet under the lining in the bottom of the bag. I was then sensing an air of excitement, my heart was beating faster..
YES!!! The ring was found and I was glowing!!!
I was undoubtedly elated at this point, but there is one final piece of synchronicity to this particular story.
I opened my eye pad, part of my learning curve had been researching various crystals and their properties. I wanted to buy one that would provide comfort and protection. I hadn’t even considered a diamond, it’s not something I have ever bought, I have never shared my mums passion for jewellery.
Google tells us:
The diamond is LIGHT, life, the SUN; it is an emblem of purity and perfection, of invincible spiritual power, and it is the stone of committment, faithfulness, and promise between husband and wife. Symbol of light and brilliance; unconquerable; treasures, riches, intellectual knowledge.
Google’s words, not mine. However, I’m very happy to share those sentiments.
Now I have my perfect crystal, with all my memories and life lessons embedded into it.
RIP Mum and Dad. ❤️
“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” Carl Jung
